I have been picking up what’s left of this year and trying to make it end on a positive note. You can start in a negative space but you always have to end with something positive. I’ve been trying to keep to myself but I know that isn’t healthy at all. For the first 5-6 months of the year I struggled with getting outside the house. I’d personally rather stay in and not go out. It’s not that I was depressed it was more so I didn’t want to deal with people. People pushing views on how I should be living, what I should be doing and how I should be feeling. No matter what is happening people always seem to inject their views on you and not just let you live for you.

How do you feel? This is a real question that I was asked. Not are you okay? It was a genuine how do you feel?  I feel that life is getting better and that I am getting better. When I was asked this it was like a total shock. I didn’t really know how to answer it, it’s different then asking someone, “Hey are you okay?” I am not okay, why do you think I am okay? That made me reconsider connecting with the people around me and getting better. Sometimes people don’t know what to say but sometimes one person can fix the door to allow others back in. 

Now I find myself trying to enjoy life once again and just heal. Reconnecting with old friends, establishing new friendships, getting new hobbies and just smiling as much as possible. People see me going out but it really is for me to enjoy life for Kevin and no one else. We tend to forget that we are the drivers in our journey through life and that others are the passengers along for the ride. The moment they become backseat drivers to steer you in the wrong direction, you have to kick them out the car. If they can’t give you the necessary tools so you can keep driving your own life then they shouldn’t be along for the ride.