The face I make every time I get asked this question. I get it I am getting older and time is ticking but you not going to ask me this question all the dam time. Why don’t you mind your business and step all the way out of my life. I feel like if you don’t know my life you shouldn’t ask me this question. I feel like people around my age or older/younger then me that already have kids always just ask me that. With my friends we always joke around like, “Yeah you’re next to get married” or “You’re having kids first” but that’s just something we do since we are getting older.Personally before anything I want to get married and then have kids. Not saying I don’t ever want to have kids just saying I want to get MARRIED first. One hurdle at a time because the moment you bring in new life into this world is the moment that everything changes.
Imagine having a child in your image. Feeding them, grooming them, making sure they know right from wrong, educating them and making sure that they are on the right path. That is a huge step to take and it should be planned out and not rushed. I know no matter what I do in life that having kids will be the best experience in the world. My mom told me that she trust the decisions I make in life because she raised me right. When I have a child I want to be able to do the same thing for them. I don’t want them to regret anything in life and just want them to live it.
When are you going to get married? I think that’s a better question and I would just say, “You know it’s in the works.” That’s a planning process with your significant other just like having kids. Can I make sure my life is situated before I have kids? Can I be off child support with Sallie Mae before I have kids? I noticed with some people who have kids they always tend to regret the trips and adventures they didn’t take. I don’t want to be that person. Yes I love going on my adventures and trips but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop when I have kids. That just means I will have to include them in the fold. I think people should be more mindful of when they ask, “When are you having kids?” Only because you don’t know if someone isn’t able to create a child. Someone just doesn’t want to have children. They may have tried a number of times but have failed each time. You should also be mindful of when you ask someone “When are you going to get married?” They might not want to do that or they just haven’t been asked yet. You don’t really know what someone is going through to be asking personal life changing questions
When are you having kids Kevin? Honest answer is probably a couple months after I get married. I want to be in my own place and at least put a ring on her finger before anything. Everyone has a different answer for this but be mindful when you generally ask this question. Sometimes it can hurt the person more then you think.
“Life is a journey with problems to solve, lessons to learn, but most of all, experiences to enjoy”
Sometimes I think it’s good to reflect on the past just to look at where you’ve been and where you plan to go. It’s coming up to 10 years since I graduated from high school and I took the time to go thru my HS yearbook. This is what I discovered:
- I am old as shit
- I was ugly
- If these people tried to get buddy-buddy with me now I’d tell them to fuck off
- All these people got kids and families
- I’m working on my 2nd passport
- I got 2 degrees and a non-profit
I would have to say I came a long way from being ugly since 1988
, graduating from ACHS in 2006 and being the great person I am today. Would I go back and re-do anything in my life? No, why would I? The things I did in my past made me the great person I am today. If someone ever tells you they would re-do certain situations in their life that made them who they are today, then smack them one good time. I feel certain situations good or bad lead us on a particular path to greatness. Not saying that you don’t want to live a particular moment over again it’s the fact that some people want to change that moment. That moment could have made you who you are today, if you change it you may not know where that new path will lead you.
I always get people who say “oh you changed,” of course I changed. I don’t stay the same; I just grow and evolve as a person. Every day is a new day to be better then the person you use to be. The person from 10 years ago shouldn’t be the same person you see today. When I look back at this very moment 10 years from now I want to be in a better place then I am now. I want to be doing something different, married, kids, taking more trips around the world and just being genuinely happy. It’s all about setting your life goals and pushing yourself to meet them. The person that I was 10 years ago made me who I am today but I am not the same person from 10 years ago. I have become a better version of me and have not let my past define who I am. It’s good to reflect on your past just to make sure you’re not still doing the things you use to do that don’t benefit your growth. Upgrade your life and your next 10 years will be the greatest time of your life.
“Your past never defines your future”
*DISCLAIMER: I’m aware its not exactly 10 years yet but this blog is in reference to going ON 10 years from graduating from HS
You ever start going through old yearbooks and pictures, then notice you wasn’t all that great to look at? Let me tell you how my confidence was on some disrespectfully low levels back in the day. I hated wearing my glasses just because they where so dam big. My shirts where always tucked into my pants. I really didn’t wear anything name brand. I was definitely rocking Fubu like it was still the hottest thing on the streets (I actually don’t think it was Fubu, probably some Chinese knockoff). No sense of style and colors, I would just get dressed. I was picked on a lot. I wasn’t good with jokes back then. I was just an ugly kid trying to make it through life.
As an ugly kid trying to make it through life I definitely had a crush on a lot of chicks. They would never give me the time of day at all. I struggled at spitting game to a girl. “I like your shoes,” I was that weirdo. My soul would be hurt when they told me to go away. If I was a bit more light skin I think I would have released an emotional album like Drake. The thing that hit me the hardest is when I hit puberty and I broke out like crazy, acne everywhere. I really was an ugly dude trying to get by on these streets. I think the thing that kept me together is the people I surrounded myself with. We just lived life and enjoyed every moment of it. I feel like once I hit college everything before that didn’t matter at all. College was the place where I defined who I would be for the rest of my life and that’s what I did.
I thank the lord everyday for puberty not lasting that long because my face could not endure any more hardships. My own sense of style finally came in, confidence followed and I could only go up from there. Not saying I am the best thing to look at but I am pretty sure I am okay to take out in public. I am oblivious when females are trying to get my number or kick game to me. “It was nice talking to you, but I am going home now.” I am the most direct person you will ever meet. Don’t worry my confidence level is on Diddy right now and I am still that ugly kid from 1988 but I’ve just matured and stayed humble. I don’t search for validation from people, just from myself. When it comes to that point where you have to search then you already lost. The thing about getting older is that those people that didn’t want you back then always want you now but that’s another story.
2015: Still Ugly 🙂 #ThugLife
You ever been in a situation where someone tries to change who you are as person? For instance if you have an addiction to gummy bears they try to make you get a new addiction just because they don’t like them? Yeah that kind of change, where they try to adjust something about you that makes you unique because they don’t like it. We have all been in those situations where we don’t really like something about someone and we wished we could change it. Why? Its human nature we want people to conform to what we want and what we like.
Some people will do that sometimes especially if its something for your career or to keep a friendship. If it means that much to you and it annoys the other person so much you will change. Why do you have to change though? Why can’t you just be you with all of your flaws, issues and addictions? Lets just say not everything is a good fit. I was talking to this chick way back when, who had a great personality. Everything about her was great but she smoked so much weed. I don’t know if I was blinded by how great she was or that she would bribe me with snacks but like massive amounts of weed daily. It was like she couldn’t live without it. I have no problems with people and what they like but when they try to force what they like on me, it definitely won’t work. That is like a super turn off. You try to change me to like what you like, I will tell you to go kick rocks. We always get asked by people, “ what would you change about me?” your response should always be “nothing.”
When you want to change something about someone and can’t accept him or her for whatever flaws they have tells you about yourself. Having someone fit your mold doesn’t always work out. We distance our self further from creative minds and those individuals who set themselves apart. Why change me? Why not let me just be me? If you don’t like something about me, you can tell me but does it mean that I will change that thing about myself? Sometimes we change for the better, other times we change for the worse. It’s up to us to determine if everything about ourselves is worth changing for someone else.
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. ~Maya Angelou