So let me tell ya something, if you plan to tell me a story of some sort expect me to provide guidance to my readers on the topic. I will never mention a name but at the same time I want people to understand that I get told a lot of things that have me confused. What is the longest you are willing to talk to someone with no title? Not title, no goals on moving forward together, just nothing. You guys are literally just talking and entertaining each other with no expectations. Pretty much fuck buddies in my opinion. Continue reading →
A couple of questions to ask yourself when dating someone: Can I wait for sex after marriage? Can I wait for sex after we start dating? Do I need to test drive before investing into someone? Is sex a determining factor to being with someone? What if the sex is trash?
A lot comes to mind when building a successful and long lasting relationship but a lot of people I’ve talked to said that additional connection you get from having sex with the other person is crucial to maintaining. It’s not always the defining factor but it will let them know in which direction they want to go with that person. Before investing in someone we like to make sure we are investing in someone that we vibe with. That meets our needs and ultimately makes us happy. Time is something we can never get back and wasted time does not exist in my opinion. Wasted time is better known as learned experience. A time when you learned more about yourself and won’t allow yourself to fall back into that same space.
Most times with dating you think you are ready but sometimes you aren’t really ready. You may have inner demons that you have to deal with, your past constantly showing up or you’re just dealing with someone who just wants to go full throttle. You never want to rush something until YOU are ready. You don’t want to half ass something and in the end it falls apart.
The thing about dating is that you have to be able to make sure that person is all about you and you are all about them. This always takes time and sometimes never happens immediately. You have to have that feeling of “damn this is the only person I want to be with” when you’re alone without them. Until you reach that point I feel you aren’t truly ready. It’s not so much of an infatuation its more so a non-interest in other people besides this one person. You could see another great person try to step into your life but you already have one and that person is amazingly occupying your time. You consider these other people a non-factor because you already have this great person in your life. Sometimes most of us don’t even get to this point and we just bite the bullet just so we have someone. No, don’t do that only because its unpredictable on how you may feel later on about them. After some time you may just lose interest or your interest in them may grow. You will never know unless you just step out and just try. Give someone a reason to make you their main dish instead of that side salad. Build that friendship so they can get to that point if they haven’t yet.
You can’t date wrong it’s a continuous learning process. Somethings might happen immediately whereas others may take a while. Dating is literally testing the waters before making someone official. Hurt feelings happen and if you feel something isn’t going in the right direction, TALK ABOUT IT. No one ever wants to feel pressured to jump into something they aren’t 100% committed for and 100% ready for. We just don’t know what the other person is thinking and what inner battles they are going through but we do know that things take time. It is never wasted time but a learning experience that will help us in the future.
I don’t know why people think the word “I love you” can fix anything that was fucked up when it really can’t. Love can only take you so far before you completely have to let go of someone. Love can do so much before it taps you on the back and says ,”Please give it up it’s really over.”
I mean it’s a great word but it will never make me stay when I am ready to leave. When I’ve already given all I have and ready to leave, those words won’t make me rethink my choice. A lot of times people don’t really love you and just say it to get a reaction. Make you say or do something they want you to do. It use to be something that made you feel warm and fuzzy inside but it’s now being used as a last resort for forgiveness or to keep you around. I was cheated on and she thought throwing this word at me would make me reconsider leaving her. Nope, not at all missy. You cheated on me for about 3 months and assumed just because you said, “I love you” that it would fix our problems. This will never fix your problems and put you back on the same path. Things will never be the same.
If you can’t tell you did something wrong and assume these words can fix any problem then you are mistaken. We can be so madly in love but I have enough love for myself to know that what is happening isn’t right. Never become a sucker when someone does something wrong and tries to fix it by saying “I love you.” I love you but I love me enough to make sure that I am good and deserve better.