I always seem to talk about friendships but as you grow through life, I feel friendships are essential. Some friendships are forever, while others are just temporary life lessons. I think we have to ask ourselves what we consider friends and the level of friendships we have. Based off one of my older posts entitled, “ Friend Circles” I feel like you don’t have to ask people, “are we still friends?”
Going off my previous topic #HeyBestFriend from 2016. Click here to read more.
How time flies and things in your life just change drastically. You go from living a grand life to just living with a chip on your shoulder because you are trying to support the people around you but can’t. A conversation I had with one of my boys twice after we went through a similar experience (losing family members back to back). Basically talking about making sure we are good since we have to be good for everyone else. Talking about trying to be supportive for those people around us but no longer being able to just listen to people’s issues because we have our own. The way you use to be before a situation happens, changes after the situation happens. You just stop caring as much for what’s going on in others lives. You get lost in your own void of emotions and feelings, that you have no idea what to deal with. Continue reading →
Most times with dating you think you are ready but sometimes you aren’t really ready. You may have inner demons that you have to deal with, your past constantly showing up or you’re just dealing with someone who just wants to go full throttle. You never want to rush something until YOU are ready. You don’t want to half ass something and in the end it falls apart.
The thing about dating is that you have to be able to make sure that person is all about you and you are all about them. This always takes time and sometimes never happens immediately. You have to have that feeling of “damn this is the only person I want to be with” when you’re alone without them. Until you reach that point I feel you aren’t truly ready. It’s not so much of an infatuation its more so a non-interest in other people besides this one person. You could see another great person try to step into your life but you already have one and that person is amazingly occupying your time. You consider these other people a non-factor because you already have this great person in your life. Sometimes most of us don’t even get to this point and we just bite the bullet just so we have someone. No, don’t do that only because its unpredictable on how you may feel later on about them. After some time you may just lose interest or your interest in them may grow. You will never know unless you just step out and just try. Give someone a reason to make you their main dish instead of that side salad. Build that friendship so they can get to that point if they haven’t yet.
You can’t date wrong it’s a continuous learning process. Somethings might happen immediately whereas others may take a while. Dating is literally testing the waters before making someone official. Hurt feelings happen and if you feel something isn’t going in the right direction, TALK ABOUT IT. No one ever wants to feel pressured to jump into something they aren’t 100% committed for and 100% ready for. We just don’t know what the other person is thinking and what inner battles they are going through but we do know that things take time. It is never wasted time but a learning experience that will help us in the future.
So your best friend is supposed to be someone you can rely on no matter what, they are your extended family. That person is literally another you but in a different form. You have your ups and downs but you come back and know this person has your back no matter what. When you aren’t thinking straight this person puts you right back on track. Sometimes they are the voice of reason for you or you both are petty together. This person, no matter what is going on, is your ride or die till the end.
Not everyone can be a best friend honestly and we all have different types. I have different flavors of best friends that play their roles perfectly. Being that I am a guy most times we don’t refer to other guys as our best friends but more like “our boys” or “we just know what it is” type of thing. That’s my boy and that’s kind of it or we will say best friend. As men we are weird sometimes but let’s proceed. The flavor of friends I have range from analytical, calm, cautious, fuck it, regular petty, really petty and turn up. My friends always are supportive with the decisions I make and will go with them. It’s always good not to have too many of the same flavor type of friends because this may go wrong sometimes. You need to find a balance. I have that one friend who is really petty with a mix of turn up and fuck it but then I have another one who is a mix of regular petty, analytical and calm. Most of my friends are really petty and not regular petty. So anything that’s overboard I go to my regular petty best friend for like a 2ndverification on what my really petty friends would say. That’s only if I am not feeling really petty at the time but yeah I am always really petty. You need a balance on all things so you know not to be too crazy.
The moment you know someone isn’t your best friend is when they stab you in the back. They are toxic to your health and always provide you with bad advice. They do things that fuck up your shit. We have all had those “oh we use to be friends” type of people in our lives. We’ve removed them because their value dropped and they brought nothing good to the table. The moment that someone brings bad vibes, discourages you or trips you into the wall they can’t be your friend anymore. A best friend title is a privilege and not something you just give to anyone. If these people don’t bring value, encourage your growth and uplift your life then they really shouldn’t be your best friend.