Routine is defined as a customary or regular course of procedure or in simple terms a regular procedure that you do often. We have many routines we perform daily with people around us and just in our daily lives. Each routine that we have with someone or a group of people is a bond that we’ve created with them. For example with my friends I am either the one saying, “next trip?”, sending funny videos or sending positive energy. When you are taken out of your routine, what do you normally do? If I was to stop sending positive energy, funny videos or asking about the next trip how do you think my friends would feel? To just immediately stop something that is associated with me amongst my friends. “Kevin stop sending positive energy, what’s going on with him?” It just messes with the flow of the world and the routine you are accustomed to. That bond we shared is gone because I decided to no longer do it. Sometimes a routine is lost because of other circumstances. You stopped dating someone or you lost someone in your life. In my case one of my routines I no longer have after my sister’s accident.
I personally have been out of sync with a lot of things that I am use to. My sister waking me up in the middle of the night to tell me some random story. Me going out and coming home to tell my sister about a trip I took. Some elaborate plan I had for saving additional money to go on a trip. That bond we share is no longer available. I find myself crying often because I no longer have that routine I am accustomed to. I haven’t really been out as of late because personally everything is like hitting me. I would get dressed, ask her how my outfit looks and then she would scream,” looking good best friend” then I would be on my way. It’s not that I cry often with certain things it’s just like if it’s the first time going back to it and knowing I can’t talk to her about it, really hurts. Hurts everyday that the person I would go to for a lot of things is no longer around. I know some of my other family members and her friends still may not feel it. They expect her to come in the door and give them a hug or shoot them a text saying “I miss you.” Having a routine with someone close to you that is no longer available is like walking into an empty room waiting for someone to bring things in. Just forever waiting for the space to be filled.
It will take a lot of time to get back to the person I once was. Sometimes I do ignore people only because I never want to feel like a burden. Reaching the lowest point in my life, only time can fix things. I am happy I surround myself with great people that I have created that bond with and noticed that “our” routine has hit a bump in the road. The routine you have with someone is that special bond you created with them. Never let it go and never allow others to try and fill it. It’s the special thing that you have with that individual.
“I believe certain people cross your life as guardian angels and some connections can’t be explained off words alone. It’s a soul thing, a feeling”
I just want to give a quick shout out to those individuals who go natural and get a lot of shit for it. People hate change and when you change their view of you they will continue to hate you. From the outside looking in I feel that I have somewhat experienced this when my sister first started. My sister has been growing her hair for over 10 years now and loves it. When first starting something you always hear from irrelevant people and there annoying opinions.
So take a trip back to high school, 10th grade where this story begins. My sister decided to cut her hair not because she was following a trend, just because she had bad edges and her hair was falling out. She wanted to start fresh and see where it could take her. She literally started with a baldy and when she came to school the next day it all came in at once. The critics, opinions, rumors and just the people who weren’t use to change. My sister and I look a like a little bit but when she did that we literally looked like twins. The worst thing is that people look at you different when it comes to change. You are now considered ugly and not a good person at all for changing people’s view of you. You are not going to talk about my sister in front of me, only I can do that. Through all the criticism she grew from it and continued being her. The same people that talked bad about her are the same people who also became natural. Let me sip my tea though.
I think my love for people with natural hair has come from my sister and her journey. The journey was a struggle and now 10 years later she is still on it. Nothing ever comes easy but the journey to become natural and stay natural isn’t for everyone. Don’t get me wrong I don’t have any issues with individuals with un-natural hair; I am just giving those with natural hair a quick shout out. The hair discussion is a completely different topic that we won’t get into. No matter your hair situation and no matter what people say, as long as you continue to be you that is all that matters.
“If someone is strong enough to bring you down, show them you’re strong enough to get back up”
It’s been a GOOOOOOD minute since I wrote something but I have been preoccupied with school and work, you know how that is. Today’s topic is about “PARENTS” point, blank, period. We gotta love them no matter what problems we are going through they are always there to support you. Through your stupidity, car accidents, a breakup, rough time with friends, school, just whatever the case maybe your parents are always there.
Within the Haitian culture some people don’t understand that our parents are very clingy to us, as we are growing up. They want us to be either doctors, nurses, lawyers, an athlete or something with computers. That is just FACT, if you are not in those fields you will not be successful. Every step of your growth your parents are there, they try to pick and choose your friends for you. They don’t want bad influences that will change the positive directions that you are going in. They always try to make sure you are eating healthy and always know when you are losing weight, I mean ALWAYS. My sister is turning out like my mom and it’s horrible to see, because last year her and my mom would tell me that all the time. “Kevin you look skinnier then usual did you eat?” or “Kevin your face is looking real thin are you okay?” You just are, “like leave me alone” but your parents just know you. When I use to bring my friends over my mom would give them all food and they would tell me all the time “Yo I love this Haitian cooking, ask your mom if she can make lunch for me for work.” At my job now I use to buy lunch from the work cafeteria, but not anymore my mom makes me food for work. That’s a Haitian parent for you; it’s not that I can’t get my own food it’s just that you have to understand it’s our culture. Parents care for their kids and always want to be there for them. I would say Haitian and African parents are the same very strict and very clingy but that just means they love you so be happy to have them. Be thankful that you have both your parents and that they are there supporting you. Haitian parents will gladly embarrass you in public and not care who is around. They will blow up your phone a million times after 11pm just because they don’t know your whereabouts and think you are dead. Just know if you are the male you are safe but the female not so much. There was a time that my car died on me on the parkway at 1 in the morning, I called 5 of my friends who lived close and they were all “busy”. So I called my dad and of course he was there at the drop of a dime. You gotta love your parents no matter what because they always love you back.
You ever just sit there and think, “How many different bills my parents pay?” No you haven’t because sometimes they are paying everything for you. You are sitting there, paying your cell phone bill living the high life, while your parents pay for everything else. Your car insurance, car payments, mortgage, cable, internet, food, utilities and whatever else they are paying for. Have you ever just said thank you or helped or just like “you guys are the greatest, thanks for the support.” You can’t take your parents for granted and the more you take them for granted the less time for you to say thank you and really mean it. Time never stops and it continues to move, your parents are there for you to learn from so take those 2 seconds whenever you are with them to give them something in return and try to benefit from there teachings.
Live. Laugh. Love.