Category Archives: Dating

This Tea Though (4)

So let me tell ya something, if you plan to tell me a story of some sort expect me to provide guidance to my readers on the topic. I will never mention a name but at the same time I want people to understand that I get told a lot of things that have me confused. What is the longest you are willing to talk to someone with no title? Not title, no goals on moving forward together, just nothing. You guys are literally just talking and entertaining each other with no expectations. Pretty much fuck buddies in my opinion. Continue reading

Sex & Dating (Part 2)

 A couple of questions to ask yourself when dating someone: Can I wait for sex after marriage? Can I wait for sex after we start dating? Do I need to test drive before investing into someone? Is sex a determining factor to being with someone? What if the sex is trash?

A lot comes to mind when building a successful and long lasting relationship but a lot of people I’ve talked to said that additional connection you get from having sex with the other person is crucial to maintaining. It’s not always the defining factor but it will let them know in which direction they want to go with that person. Before investing in someone we like to make sure we are investing in someone that we vibe with. That meets our needs and ultimately makes us happy. Time is something we can never get back and wasted time does not exist in my opinion. Wasted time is better known as learned experience. A time when you learned more about yourself and won’t allow yourself to fall back into that same space.

Continue reading

Temporary Lover

Our life journey is never the same especially that journey after a break up with someone. We all try to occupy that time that was given to someone else with other things. It’s like binge watching a Netflix show and when it’s done you are just laying around. Trying to figure out what is next. You click on a bunch of shows, start watching, get bored and then move on to another show. Until you find something new you can binge watch for the next million seasons.

I was in a situation after dating someone for some time where I was just trying to occupy my time with stuff I let go. Hobbies I got rid of, sleep that I missed, books I half started and additional opportunities that I missed. You don’t realize how much time you give to someone until they are no longer in your life. What you do notice is the people trying to occupy that space. I am a person that doesn’t like to give up my free time and space to just anyone. I’ll give you a little bit but not all of it, especially not immediately. It’s always those moments you aren’t looking for someone that someone just wants to come into your life and just be amazing. Like, Continue reading

Dating and Dating Again (Part 2)

            Most times with dating you think you are ready but sometimes you aren’t really ready. You may have inner demons that you have to deal with, your past constantly showing up or you’re just dealing with someone who just wants to go full throttle. You never want to rush something until YOU are ready. You don’t want to half ass something and in the end it falls apart.
            The thing about dating is that you have to be able to make sure that person is all about you and you are all about them. This always takes time and sometimes never happens immediately. You have to have that feeling of “damn this is the only person I want to be with” when you’re alone without them. Until you reach that point I feel you aren’t truly ready. It’s not so much of an infatuation its more so a non-interest in other people besides this one person. You could see another great person try to step into your life but you already have one and that person is amazingly occupying your time. You consider these other people a non-factor because you already have this great person in your life. Sometimes most of us don’t even get to this point and we just bite the bullet just so we have someone. No, don’t do that only because its unpredictable on how you may feel later on about them. After some time you may just lose interest or your interest in them may grow. You will never know unless you just step out and just try. Give someone a reason to make you their main dish instead of that side salad. Build that friendship so they can get to that point if they haven’t yet.
            You can’t date wrong it’s a continuous learning process. Somethings might happen immediately whereas others may take a while. Dating is literally testing the waters before making someone official. Hurt feelings happen and if you feel something isn’t going in the right direction, TALK ABOUT IT. No one ever wants to feel pressured to jump into something they aren’t 100% committed for and 100% ready for. We just don’t know what the other person is thinking and what inner battles they are going through but we do know that things take time. It is never wasted time but a learning experience that will help us in the future.