Category Archives: Dating

Dating and Dating Again. . .

The dating world is mysterious, funny and just unexpected. I find myself in constant conversation with people on what is dating, how should I date, expectations on dating and fears on dating. Sometimes you just have to spread your wings and just dive right into it. Other times you dip a toe in and back out immediately. That adventure is a constant learning process for anyone. Personally I absolutely hate dating and some of the unwritten rules associated with it.
Getting to know people is great but after it’s like, “shit this person is dope do I want to invest all my time in them?” Dating is that middle ground when you are single and testing the waters with people. You shouldn’t rush it and should just let it flourish from the ground up. I always find myself giving 101% of myself to a person and then after a while they are either not what I expected or everything I want. I’ve stopped that practice because I know what type of person I am. Giving someone all of me, being consistent, showing them something different and being that person they can depend on. At this very moment I am just testing the water and not giving my all but just enough. If I was to give someone my all right now I’d be writing corny ass poems, sending them flowers and going on baecations (vacations with a significant other). I am keeping my nose clean and just enjoying this “single” life.
Single life doesn’t mean I am out here going crazy with any randoms, I am just growing me as a person. So when it does come to that point of making someone official I am in a great place to do that. Plus you don’t want to date anyone that is a lame, boring and has trash sex. That is just my general opinion. Some people are celibate and don’t like to test drive the car before fully investing in it but I do. Even when you take it out sometimes you just lose interest in it as it begins to show you its true colors. People assume after you have sex with that person that they can’t date other people. That’s one of those unwritten rules of dating. Just out of respect you just shared an experience with someone and you shouldn’t entertain/date anyone else. Throw this make believe rule out and continue doing you, you’re single until you have a title. You are currently not tied down so keep living your life and learning more about you. You aren’t wasting anyone’s time.
You are never really wasting time its more so you are learning more about your likes and dislikes. Dating is something different and you really don’t have to let the entire world know who you are dating or how it’s going. Things fall into place at the correct moment. Over the past year I’ve been very cautious with who I let into my life and occupy my time. My life has finally been somewhat glued back together but I always find pieces coming off because that’s the way the world works. Just want to make sure I am good before caring that someone else is good. Just because you are occupying some of my time doesn’t mean someone else isn’t trying to take your place. We all know what we want sometimes but if what we want is coming from more than one direction don’t block your blessings. You never know which one will step up a lot more than the other and show you a different world.

#HeyBigHead (Part 2)

I find it funny how. . . . (any discussion with women who know shit but want to catch you in a lie first). Anyway you ever find yourself on the right path, doing good things for yourself and people from your past just pop up? People you had an interest in but they didn’t have an interest in you all of a sudden are intrigued by what you do. Sometimes they find themselves in a better space and now want to give you the time of day because you’ve peaked some type of interest. Maybe it’s someone you disconnected with and never got back on track with just because life happens. I feel like I talk about this a lot only because it has been happening to me so often as of late.

I feel that we all get those random couple text messages or phone calls when life is going great. You post some new pictures online, you’re on on vacation enjoying the moment, you’re enjoying a successful life of accomplishments and/or you’re just so happy about life. You always get people who see your greatness and want to just “check up” on you to see what is going on. I don’t mind having conversation with some of these people only because I will see them all the time. The thing with me though is that if you are going to come at me, you going to need to come at me with 1000% of your energy so I can pay attention. I get bored easily and I’ve learned to focus more on my happiness verses others happiness. So that “Hey Big Head” message you can keep to yourself only because I use that line as a joke to make people laugh.

My reasoning for saying come at me with everything is only because I am the type of person once I find the “right” person that’s it. I know what I want, I like what I like and I won’t let it go (unless you mess up in some way). Don’t half ass come at me if you going to hit me with the #HeyBigHead text. You need to come at me better then anyone else that is coming at me but we are a generation of going with the flow and waiting for the last minute. Go out, find your own happiness and make it yours. Life is all about taking risks, falling on your face and minding your business.

Fuckboy

A fuckboy has many definitions but let just keep it easy. Fuckboy is someone who is about self without a second thought to your well being. They always put their need above anything and don’t care who they have to fuck over to reach their goals. This can also apply to women and not generalized to just men.
    My thing with this word is that I think people use it so freely when they don’t get their way. They just call someone a fuckboy without a second thought. I was called a fuckboy twice and took great offense to it. I am the type of person to go above and beyond for whoever I’m with. For someone to call me a fuckboy I felt so disrespected. I know I didn’t deserve to be called a fuckboy because of the type of person I am. After I was called a fuckboy I was compared to the other dudes they dated. That’s when I felt another level of disrespect. At no point have I ever disrespected a female. I was raised the correct way. No matter what a female says to you, be better and treat them how you would treat your mother.
    In one case, I had to ask why she thought I was a fuckboy and why she considered me like these other dudes she dated. Her answer was that I didn’t want to go to an event with her. That was the logic in her calling me a fuckboy. I had to remind her who she was calling a fuckboy. The guy that buys her flowers, just because, takes her out of her comfort zone, pushes and supports her with all her endeavors, provides a shoulder when she needs it and even fixes her bonnet when she is sleeping. I don’t know what fuckboy goes out of their way to make sure you are good before he is good, but okay. She apologized for calling me that, but it’s one of those things you can’t take back. Second person called me and called me a fuckboy while I was at work. I was upset, told her I would talk to her after work because she messed up my entire mood for the day. I was in a positive mood and it sank, because I was called a fuckboy. Of course I drove to her house and had a deep conversation about it. Her response was that she was emotional and on her period, that’s why she said it.

    My assumption is that you always thought of me as fuckboy once they said it honestly. Something that was already brewing in their heads before they said it. When you say how you really feel about someone they will always remember it. People don’t understand the power of words and sometimes never think before they say things.

I Love You but . . .

    I don’t know why people think the word “I love you” can fix anything that was fucked up when it really can’t. Love can only take you so far before you completely have to let go of someone. Love can do so much before it taps you on the back and says ,”Please give it up it’s really over.”
    I mean it’s a great word but it will never make me stay when I am ready to leave. When I’ve already given all I have and ready to leave, those words won’t make me rethink my choice. A lot of times people don’t really love you and just say it to get a reaction. Make you say or do something they want you to do. It use to be something that made you feel warm and fuzzy inside but it’s now being used as a last resort for forgiveness or to keep you around. I was cheated on and she thought throwing this word at me would make me reconsider leaving her. Nope, not at all missy. You cheated on me for about 3 months and assumed just because you said, “I love you” that it would fix our problems. This will never fix your problems and put you back on the same path. Things will never be the same.
    If you can’t tell you did something wrong and assume these words can fix any problem then you are mistaken. We can be so madly in love but I have enough love for myself to know that what is happening isn’t right. Never become a sucker when someone does something wrong and tries to fix it by saying “I love you.” I love you but I love me enough to make sure that I am good and deserve better.