Going off my previous topic #HeyBestFriend from 2016. Click here to read more.
How time flies and things in your life just change drastically. You go from living a grand life to just living with a chip on your shoulder because you are trying to support the people around you but can’t. A conversation I had with one of my boys twice after we went through a similar experience (losing family members back to back). Basically talking about making sure we are good since we have to be good for everyone else. Talking about trying to be supportive for those people around us but no longer being able to just listen to people’s issues because we have our own. The way you use to be before a situation happens, changes after the situation happens. You just stop caring as much for what’s going on in others lives. You get lost in your own void of emotions and feelings, that you have no idea what to deal with.
I often find myself withdrawn from a lot of social interactions only cause I still get in the habit of trying to text my sister after 2 years about how much fun I’m having. Seeing my dad as soon as I am about to head out the door and him saying,” Can I come too? I am trying to pick up some girls like you.” Certain things replay in my head over and over but I’ve been getting better thanks to my support system. I appreciate the people I put in my life that TRULY understand me. If you’ve known me long enough you already know the type of person I am when it comes to certain situations.
Spilling some tea on myself, which I don’t care much about doing, a couple months ago one of my best friends felt some type of way about certain things and I was unaware about them. EVERYONE that knows me, knows that if you don’t tell me directly that you have some type of issue then it’s not a real issue. I hate hearing things from other people but when I see you in person, you’re smiling, laughing and hugging me. I find this a huge problem but lets continue. I proceed to hear that this best friend has been having a problem with me for months and I am just recently hearing about it. I am receiving mixed messages from someone who is supposed to be my best friend so I just continue living my life. One day I received a text message from this person, telling me they no longer wanted to be friends blah blah blah. When I read it, honestly I wasn’t phased and was just going to respond, “okay I respect your decision” but we are best friends so I decided to ask additional questions like why. They responded and honestly at this point, I didn’t read it and responded with “okay”. Only cause at this point of my life you are either a part of it or you’re not. If we have been best friends this long and you felt it was time to let go, I respect your decision and wish you the best.
With everything I’ve dealt with in life so far, I just accept things as they come. Life is to short to be worrying about if people like you or not. You just have to live your best life for you and if you lose people along the way, it happens just keep pushing forward. Others will join your life journey when you least expect it.