Category Archives: Balance

Damaged

Talking to my therapist about being damaged and admitting that I am, I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone is somewhat damaged. In the sense that something from your past is holding you back from growing in life. As a generation that has the shortest attention span imaginable, the moment we feel déjà vu happening we move. We jump from one thing to another hoping that something will change not realizing that we have to change so we no longer have to make that jump.

We have all dealt with someone that is damaged at one point or another. That baggage from the past they bring into your space, so now you have to help them deal with it. Stop it, especially if it is hindering you both growing through life. Tell them to check it at the door or toss it all the way out. You want to start fresh, positive and with no left overs. When someone tells you they are damaged appreciate that and take it as a sign of someone wanting to get better.

The first step in getting better or doing better is admitting that, “yes I have something wrong with me” and moving forward. Sometimes the people that are the closest never really let you know about yourself, that’s why YOU have to know about yourself. I’ve recognized that at this very moment I am no help to the people around me but I am trying to get better. The me from a year ago wasn’t as broken as he is today. Just me admitting won’t fix it, second step would be to act on it and actually get better. I am setting myself up today so my future self can look back and appreciate the journey that I’ve taken so far. I just want to grow through life and not be held down by what’s damaging me today.

The Weekly Reset

So we all have our bad weeks or our bad months and just sometimes need a reset. Not in the sense that your deleting that experience from your life, more so you are starting the week in a positive way. Last week was really bad for me, whatever you want to call really bad. My friend was diagnosed with cancer, other friends mom died, had an allergic reaction, lost a lot of friends, social life is in the shitter and had to purchase a new phone at full retail. All those things may not seem bad but I won’t go into detail about it. I am just letting you know that this stuff happened to me last week and this is a new week. New week brings new energy and positive vibes.

When Monday hits I like to send a mass text message to a couple of people with positive energy. We all should start our week knowing that this week will be different the the previous one. If you can’t refresh yourself on a Monday and start a new then whats the point? I enjoy life with the greatest people and I try to smile at everything. It’s all about smiling and being great. Yes not everything is going the way you want it to but life is always going to get better. I never regret any decision I make during the previous week I just learn from every situation and try to do better.

What I am saying is to continue creating your memories and keep being positive. Every week is a new week to be better and do great things. You never want to regret the things you did the previous week. I had a bad week but I have moved on (weekly reset). New week, new me and positive vibes. To busy loving the person I’m becoming and loving the people that are around me. Laugh at everything and just enjoy life.

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live”

Life After College (Part 2)

Back to this life after college mess but lets discuss life after Grad/Law/Med School. Now that you are somewhat out of your undergraduate mentality (Click here for Part 1) and are aware that a bachelor’s degree means nothing, say hello to your new life. This new life consists of darkness, hating everyone, more debt and depression. Some people take a break right after undergrad to get there work experience and then pursue their next endeavor. While others go straight into it right after graduating from undergrad. No matter the route you go the hardest part to continuing your education is the initial application. This is not up for debate at all as some schools require you to have multiple prerequisites before they even accept you. Then even after you apply, they still might not accept you because you aren’t in the top 50 applicants or you don’t meet their idle person. Then you are stalking people to give you recommendations or finding a scholarship program to pay for your tuition, no matter what it is, this first step is the most stressful part.
Now that you have finally been accepted your life is somewhat over. Depending if you go full time or part time, no matter what your life is still over. Your time is mostly occupied with studying and making it through your classes. You have to change the bad study habits that you had in undergrad and make this paper (money). A lot of sacrifices have to be made to continue your education sometimes. You can’t focus on to many things at one time because this will feel like a job. Having to write 15-30 page papers on bullshit that you barely even know. That means most of your time is occupied by research. You know your professor might not read it but you don’t want to test if they won’t. So you spend your weekends (and most of your free time) researching and studying more stuff then you even need to, just so you cover everything. You lose track of days, you don’t remember what sleep is and what exactly are friends? When break finally hits you cherish it with everything in your being. Even though you still have something due when you get back from break. The reality of it all is that this second stage can either make you or break you. Some people give up while others continue right to the finish line.
No matter the route you go it still comes down to if you can find a career. For those in the medical field you have a couple more years of struggle till you will be getting paid like crazy but it will be worth it. For others now you might get to a place where you provide your resume and they say, “ You are over qualified for the position.” Nine times out of ten they just don’t want to pay you what you are worth. They would rather pay 3 people (at a lower rate) to do the job that you could possibly do by yourself. Now it’s all about the hustle and how well you can sell yourself to these hiring managers. Life during college and life after is a struggle, but no matter what you are going through it will always be worth it in the end.
“You have to struggle no matter where you are to get to where you’re going”

I Like You but I Don’t

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Have you ever been in a situation where you are talking to someone or making new friends and you like them but you don’t? Everything they are doing is great but something inside you really doesn’t like them. Not saying you don’t like them but saying that you like them. It’s confusing honestly. I was in a situation with this chick a couple months ago. I genuinely liked her but I felt weird about it. When I feel weird about anything or think something is up I stop whatever I am doing and analyze the situation. Reviewing a situation helps you gather more information and helps you to make an informed decision. After further review of the play I told her “I like you but I don’t so we should just be associates.” The bad thing is I couldn’t even see myself being her friend; I really felt it was pointless. I said, “We should be associates.” Why entertain friendship with someone you are not sure about?
I like all my friends, that’s why I consider them my friends. When you have an in between feeling about someone then you should just let them go. It’s either you give 100% or you give nothing at all, no in between.  Was it mean what I said? Maybe but at least I wasn’t wasting her time. All we do in this day and age is waste peoples time that we can’t give back. I apologized for wasting her time but when I am asking myself to many questions about a person then it can’t work out on any level. This applies to a lot of things though. You can like something but you really don’t. Maybe you like the company or like how something makes you feel but do you really like it?
Maybe it’s because I over think situations that they turn out the way they do but its better to be safe then sorry. You can always tell someone you like them but will anything ever come out of it? It’s always good to get your feelings out and let them be known but your feelings will never give you a clear definition of what they mean. I like you but I don’t. I like you as a person but I don’t like the random tendencies you have. I like you and your randomness but I don’t like your personality. Sometimes you just have to be you and go with how you feel. You are the only one that knows what you like and don’t like.
“Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you”