Category Archives: Communication

Chasing The Queen


On one of my daily commutes to work I was talking to an elderly couple who had been married for 52 years and they where revisiting the site where he proposed to her. He proposed to her in Time Square and just wanted to spend the day with her in that area. My conversation with him went as followed:
Kevin: What was the key thing that kept you guys together for so long?
Elder Man: Everyday I treat her like it’s a brand new love, the love I met for the first time. I do everything I did in the beginning to try and win her heart so no one else would take it from me.
Kevin:  What did you do?
Elder Man: Back then we didn’t have phones or the internet so I would walk to her house everyday or write her letters. I would tell her exactly how I felt and try to impress her. Take her out to dinners, picnics and bring her flowers. What we did back then was try and court young women back and stick with the one we had an eye for.
Kevin: Do you feel that people have lost that aspect of courting?
Elder Man: Yes because my grand daughter told me a guy liked her but he didn’t even take her out yet. They would hang out at his house because he had his own place. I’m assuming they are just having getting it on but I told her if he isn’t trying to open your mind to new experiences he isn’t for you. A man that truly wants to be with you will go out of his way to treat you different. He will fall in love with the person you are and not just what he sees on the outside. He will continue chasing you even when he has already won your heart, just to make sure you are forever his.
To cut this story short this had to be one of my many conversations I’ve had with someone older that told me that “courting” someone was an essential part of getting the person you wanted. The thing is does courting in 2015 still exist?  Courtship is defined the act, period, or art of seeking the love of someone with the intent to marry.  I feel once you get past a certain age the games and BS need to stop because the clock is ticking. You don’t want to be 40 and alone with a number of animals named after people you dated, that could have been “the” one. Does courting only apply to men? Women are extremely aggressive now and won’t wait around forever for a man to make up his mind. She will either quickly move on or ask him what is up. Some cases women actually propose to men but that’s a different topic and never in my life do I want to see a woman get on one knee to propose to a man.
Being from this generation I get the difficulties of social media, rumors being spread and things not being serious. The thing is we shouldn’t stop striving to be with someone great and doing great things. Seeing one of my friends get married and seeing him have his Drake moments inspired me to take a more serious look at life. As you get older and wiser things change so you have to change with them.  
 “Chasing the Queen
That inspires me to be a better man
The better man that isn’t like your last
. . .but plans to be your last” – Kevin Pierre

Chill Session VS Date

                Chill session and dates are 2 different things that I think everyone needs to consider. I take people out on chill sessions over dates. They both mean 2 different things. A chill session is more like the beginning steps of learning about someone. I consider a date a mutual understanding between 2 individuals who would like to grow together and eventually occupy each other’s time.
Why have 2 classifications? People assume WAY toooo much when you take them out and consider everything a date. How about no, this is a chill session and we are friends. We are enjoying each other’s company. People expect so much from dates and when they don’t get it they look at you crazy. No, we are just 2 individuals having a great time together and this is not a date. In this day and age everyone considers everything a date. Hold on, wait a minute . . . can I learn about you first? Or na?
So let’s elaborate a bit, a chill session is meant for those who just want to get to know someone and have a great time. Not saying you won’t have a great time on date just saying you aren’t looking for anything special from this person, in a sense. A date is more so thought out and planned. You go into detail with what you do with this individual because you might want to build something better with them. No one said anything about a $200 date, that’s another topic.
If you barely know what a date is you will never know what one feels like. Don’t set your expectations too high for anything just because you may be let down by disappointment. Before thinking you deserve a $200 date first establish what a date is and will that even be fun. If you are just vibing, just vibe and go on chill sessions so you don’t let someone think you expect more from a date.

Communication Chasing (Part 2)

–>

Like I said before, “If you have to chase someone for communication then you need to decide if they are worth the chase.” With all the forms of communication out in this world people always seem to have a problem communicating. We seem to forget that communication goes two ways and that consistency always plays a part. Sometimes I feel that people will stop communicating with you off the dumbest things and expect you to chase them. In a sense they will cut you off with no explanation, expect you to know why and chase them. Why chase people who are running a different race?
I get it sometimes though; we all need our escape and would rather keep to ourselves. Although you always get those people who are like, “You never hit me up anymore”, “I cut you off because of someone else but you can still hit me up” or “I saw you got a new boo and don’t hit me up.” This generation literally has an excuse for every reason why you have to hit them up first. It cool and all but lets be direct, “I don’t want to hit you up cause I don’t feel like it.” This works right? People “expect” so many things from you. Once you get them comfortable, they expect you to continue treating them the same way and communicating the same way. Consistency in the form of communication always shows your interest level with people. I may not talk to you all the time but you still know what’s going on. We communicate enough to know where we stand in each other’s lives.
Why do I have to be the one to hit you up first all the time? Some unwritten law somewhere on Google. Communication is a two way street and should be left as such no matter the situation. Yes sometimes we distance ourselves from people but chasing those individuals shouldn’t be a game. Games are for children and for someone to make you consistently chase them for communication is never good.
“Never chase people for communication, take a step back and just remember that not everyone values communication as a way of keeping friendship/relationships alive” ~KP

Also read >>> Communication Chasing

Communication Chasing

–>

I honestly hate talking about communication because it seems to be the biggest problem that our society/generation has at the moment. We can say that we don’t have a problem but we honestly do. With all the forms of communication we have we tend to fail at communication. We feel that if someone tweets something, post a picture on instagram or likes a comment on facebook that they are okay and everything is fine. In a sense we let these things trigger if we contact them directly or not.
            If you have to chase someone for communication then I feel you just need to take a step back and decide if they are worth the chase. The way that we are constantly wired into the world and the first excuse you hear is “oh I didn’t see your message,” always throws me for a loop. Granted you may be sleeping or you are just in your own world, no matter what EVERYONE checks there phone at least 5-10 times an hour. I am sorry but I will be honest with you, I have my phone with me all the time and if I don’t want to reply to you I just won’t. I don’t need to make an excuse about why I didn’t hit you up I will just tell you directly, I really didn’t feel like responding to you at all.
            Making up an excuse to avoid someone has become the norm for some of us but we gotta do what we gotta do. Communication chasing should not exist but it does because with more ways being created to communicate with people we continue to communicate less and less with each other. Look at the people that are getting “catfished” and ask yourself “why didn’t they skype, facetime or use tango?” We have so many ways to communicate with people but we choose not to. The next question is “do they really want to communicate with you?” If you feel someone is lacking in communication, maybe they just really don’t want to communicate with you. 
Never chase people for communication, take a step back and just remember that not everyone values communication as a way of keeping friendship/relationships alive.