Category Archives: Communication

The Claim Game (Part 2)

So we are back to this topic of the “Claim Game” (click onlink to read part 1).  This time I will be talking about a different aspect of the claim game. One that I know a couple of my friends are going through at the moment.

You know when you are interested in someone and you guys are talking back and forth for a good couple months. There is like an unofficial “your mine” type of stare that you give to each other, just saying you know what it is without either person actually saying something. Unofficially claiming the person but wanting it to be officially said. You guys do a lot of things in public, (kiss, hold hands, hug, etc.) but you still pass each other off as “just friends.” Then you ask yourself the question, “Why hasn’t he/she claimed me yet?”

Is it a fear of committing to one person? Fear of knowing you finally found someone good for you? Fear of your past catching up with you? Fear of people knowing you’re with someone? Fear of being tied down or maybe it’s just something we are just not ready for. Like I said in my previous blog, you never want to start claiming someone unless you are really serious about them. People will believe every word you say and run with it.

The “Claim Game” is basically giving someone a TITLE and hoping they act accordingly to the title that was given to them. Next time someone “Claims” you ask yourself “What have I done to allow them to give me a title and think that I am “CLAIMABLE?”

Communication

So as you may have already noticed a lot of my blogs go with each other in a sense. A lot of them usually just reference one part of a larger topic. This topic will be referencing a topic I talked about awhile. (“Communication Goes 2 Ways” <-->Click to read this blog)

Communication is one of those things that a lot of people lack and fail to realize how important it is in everyday life. Things may go wrong if the right things aren’t communicated or made clear. I know I am not the only one that get the text messages or phone calls of people just saying “Hey why we don’t talk any more?” Why are you asking me this? I feel like if I am going to put effort into communicating with you, you should do the same.  
The reason I think we stop communicating with people is because we hate putting all the effort into something that should be shared 50/50. Communication goes 2 ways and should be treated as such. You communicate with whom you want to communicate with but next time you try to put a value on someone, check how much they communicate with you. Someone’s value greatly increases in my opinion when you factor in there communication ability. 

The EX Factor

When did the EX become such a factor to some people? I feel as though if they are your EX then they are an EXample of what you don’t want the next person to be. What made them your EX? Is it that they had the qualities that you where looking for in the beginning but didn’t really stay consistent with? OR did they just fuck you over? You know how people are amazing in the first 9-12 weeks of getting to know them, they do all the right things to please you and make you happy. Then after awhile that diminishes, once they know they got you in their back pocket. You will deal with the most random bullshit that they throw at you and still stick around just because they “make you happy” or you “don’t know what to do without them.” The real reason you don’t want to leave is because you feel comfortable and they got you to that level. Once you feel comfortable you never want to leave someone no matter how bad they hurt you. You will accept anything they throw at you because you think that someone else won’t want you at all. Trust me you are 100% wrong. Know your worth before you get into anything with anybody. Do not allow them to destroy your self-esteem . . . it is called SELF-esteem for a reason. Move on with life, do you and find something better.

When did the EX become such a factor for some people?

Random situation that a couple of my friends have been through:
Have you ever been in that situation where someone you’re talking too just abruptly just leaves the “getting to know” relationship you guys had and just disappears without a trace? Come to find out they went back to their EX who they constantly BASH and had a falling out with, but there OFFICIALLY back together? The crazy thing about this is that you wasted a couple months getting to know them and spent hours with them. Then when they just up and disappear they don’t do the grown up thing, which is talk to you about it or give you an explanation. In my mind this is wrong, especially if you don’t even talk to the person and just leave. Sometimes you can’t understand why people do things; you just have to understand that life has its lessons. If you don’t completely END something with an EX then sometimes moving on is hard. People love that comfortable feeling with their EX’s that why they still consider there EX a factor in their lives.

“You have to let go of your EX to receive your next and that will be your best. You can’t embrace the future while clinging to the past.”

Would you allow your significant other go through your phone unrestricted??


This topic I let sit around for awhile because it is one of those questions you have to ask yourself when you get into a serious relationship with someone. Would you allow your significant other to go through your phone unrestricted? Well would you? I’ve received 80% of my responses through, text messages, twitter and facebook and the verdict is YES. Why yes you ask it’s because if you built up that trust then what do you have to hide since you guys are serious about each other. Of course everyone needs their privacy but at one point in the relationship you give up your privacy because of the trust that you have built up.
For those who said NO their reason was that it’s your personal business of what is going on, on their phone not their significant others. If they trust you then they should know that you’re not doing anything behind their back. 
The next thing that comes in to play is trust . . . do you trust the person enough that you don’t have to go through their phone? Trust is the building block of relationships, if trust is lost then more arguments tend to erupt over nothing, stress may buildup, self esteem is lost, or the relationship just ends. 
Next time you are with your significant other think to yourself “Would I let you go through my phone?” Is there a trust issue or is it just because it’s your privacy you are trying to keep?