Category Archives: Communication

Diary of a Woman

Good day all, it’s been awhile since I wrote something . . . just kind of been observing the world, reconnecting with friends and staying on that success grind. One of those things that always catches my eye is when a female is able to remember EVERY DAMN detail about anything and everything. Whether it is bad or good, if it has some importance, they will remember it. Think about this statement “Women keep diaries Girls keep sticky notes.” Seriously THINK about that statement and apply it to certain situations in your life and tell me if this isn’t true. This is all based on growth, maturity level and how you grew up, so don’t think otherwise. FYI Keywords here are WOMEN and GIRLS

“Women keep diaries” refers to how they seem to remember everything and how they keep track of it for future reference. I could go into more details into what that means but that is just boring. In this case, it would be better to have an example and keep it moving. A good example would be if a guy cheats on his girl, she writes in her mental diary “This bum ass nigga(excuse my French) just cheated on me with this ugly Nicki Minaj look alike who ain’t even got an ass named Mercedes on Tuesday February 15th 2011 at 9:05PM” Notice that the date and time was taken in this mental diary . . . . this is for future reference if she decides to take dude back she can use it against him later. If she decides to take him back, then she does something, like chill with one of her male friends and dude gets mad, she will say “On Tuesday February 15th 2011 at 9:05 AM you cheated on me with Mercedes so you can put your little attitude back there and cut the shit.” Even if you let her spend your black card on a shopping spree she will ALWAYS remember whatever you did to hurt her. Material things can’t replace broken hearts or hurt emotions. If you lie about something, she will most likely catch you and investigate especially if she knows the truth.

Female: What where you doing last night?
Male: Me and Rob started going to the gym, and then after we went for a drink at the bar.
*Female takes mental note Friday February 11th from 5:42pm-11:35pm he went to the gym and bar with Rob*

*Next Day*
Female: You went to the gym and bar again last night?
Male: Yeah it was a tough work out, me and Rob did an extreme workout it went well.
Female: MHMMMM
*Mental Diary Saturday February 12th from 5:30pm-11:55pm he went to the gym and bar with Rob. I talked to Rob’s wife earlier today and he planned a whole dinner date for their 1 year wedding anniversary”

DON’T BE STUPID SHE WILL FIND OUT!!! Especially if the time frames and shit you’re doing is off and very weird trust and believe she will find out.

Anything of importance she writes it in her diary and MAKES sure it’s used for reference purposes, as in anniversaries, birthdays, missed outings, painful experience, embarrassing moments, hurt feelings etc. Women remember everything especially if it’s something meaningful or hurtful. I bought one of my coolest female friends some flowers and some wine just because she was feeling down, (her boyfriend broke up with her). To this day she still remembers the time, how the weather was, what I was wearing and what kind of flowers they were. This was almost 2 years ago and I don’t remember this stuff. All I remember is that she had some extra gummy worms lying around and I ate them. Harsh, but it’s the truth, those joints where amazing. Back to the matter at hand: WOMEN REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE THING SO DON’T FUCK SHIT UP. They will bring stuff up, whether good or bad, and tell you what it is.

“Girls keep sticky notes” refers to how a girl will remember something for a short time period and it eventually gets blown away from memory either because 1. They don’t care anymore or 2. They are given something. Some of you “GIRLS” know damn well you do this shit or did it at one point in your life then grew up. I’ve seen a girl get so angry with her man that she is ready to break up with him because he keeps doing the same mess but she lets him back in because he keeps getting her things like flowers, new shoes, new hair, a dog etc. These are material chicks who don’t keep diaries because they are quick to forget because they know they are going to be given something so they forgive and forget. Sticky notes are something you use for a quick reference and post it somewhere, after awhile it loses its stickiness or gets blown away and gets forgotten. You remember what you want to remember and just keep life going. Since females mature faster than guys this is usually something that is dropped between the ages of 16-20 if it’s still with you then . . . I don’t know, grow up maybe?

Word to the wise, don’t beat around the bush, be truthful to yourself and just give the diary respect. As guys we know women remember everything so we have to respect the “Diary of a Woman.” Growth defines the difference between a Woman and a Girl.

Just Talking Versus Getting To Know Someone Is There a Difference?

HEY HEY HEY!!! Here we go again!! Something for you guys to think about when meeting new people. When I meet new people and there really feeling me blah blah blah and I am feeling the same way they immediately start off in the “Getting to know them” category. You can say you are “talking to them” but you have to understand “talking” versus “getting to know” is understood DIFFERENTLY by a lot of people.

Some people assume that if you are “talking” to someone that you are trying to get with them, sometimes that may be the case but others times it’s not. Others think as “talking” as “getting to know” someone and there at the beginning stages of a friendship.

For Example: If one of my friends asked me “Hey Kevin how are you and Kelly doing?” “We are good, we are just talking.” How would you take this statement?
A) Talking

B) Getting to know
Next example, “Hey Kevin how are you and Kelly doing?” “We are good, just getting to know her”
A) Talking

B) Getting to know

Just think about the word and think about how it’s being used, it could be any answer if you want it to be but you have to understand PEOPLE understand the phrases differently. Talking could mean trying to get with, getting to know or whatever you want it to be, so can getting to know. THINK ABOUT IT!!! Is there really a difference to talking and getting to know someone?

Jamel V.
The age old battle of relationships continues, this time taking a perspective on how people actually get to know each other.

What is the difference between talking and getting to know somebody? Is it one in the same or two completely different animals that spawn different results?

I recently dated a girl that had an issue with the way I was talking to her. I wasn’t disrespectful or condescending to her in any way, but she was mad because I wasn’t talking to her in a way to become her boyfriend.

I immediately grabbed two fish and five loaves and spent a long time figuring out what she meant when she said that. Ironically, this was the first girl that I had really been opening up to, and we ran the gauntlet on everything, which is something I don’t normally do. I guess as much as I was TALKING to her, I was GETTING TO KNOW HER more than anything else. Go figure.

I’ve come to determine that talking and getting to know somebody are one in the same. There really isn’t a difference, except having a mutual understanding of the possibility of something serious happening. This is truly where people begin to lack.

Without talking, you can’t get to know somebody. I guess talking is more extreme than getting to know somebody because it involves more actions of a physical nature, and that doesn’t include sex, necessarily.

I guess the other main difference has to do with the spark. You have to have attraction, desire, and all that other stuff to develop the talking and getting to know someone.

Christy
They are two completely different things so don’t get it twisted! First and foremost, getting to know someone is what it is. It’s the beginning stage… That’s when you ask the other person all these little questions like, “What’s your favorite color?” or “Where you from?” the small questions to try and get to know them. This is when you are figuring out if you actually want to ‘talk’ to this person or not. It’s also how they approach you, well in my point of view, I look to see how often he texts me, if he calls me and how interested he seems to be when he does hit me up. It looks so analyzed but that’s how I break it down and decide if I actually want to talk to the person. So if they sound too thirsty, then I don’t choose to move on any further but if you somewhat thirsty but somewhat quenched then you’re in good standings with me. This is when I usually decide to talk to the dude. Now explaining this getting to know someone and talking is somewhat blurred but you usually can tell when you are ‘talking’ to someone. Because talking is more when you already know the small details about them, you talk via text/phone on a daily basis and ya’ll are already hanging out. But don’t get it twisted, if your ‘hanging out’ is messing around theennn ya’ll are NOT talking, ya’ll are just friends with benefits, or just plain fuck buddies but that’s a whole other topic! So all in all, getting to know someone is when you are feeling them out to see if they are interesting enough to ‘talk’ to. It usually leads into talking but people just never notice. So both ARE different things!

The Claim Game

~Kevin P.
We all have been victims of this at one point or another so we all have a sense of what the claim game is. We play it when we don’t even know we are playing it, the claim game in a sense can either be good or bad. Good in the sense that people know who this person is to you or bad in the sense that people claim you with the wrong title that you really don’t want. People maybe should ask before claiming or make the other person aware that there about to be claimed. Do something that doesn’t make you look stupid and hurt in the process.
When it comes to relationships and getting to know people, we like to claim those people. “Yeah you are wifey I am feeling you” or “Yeah that’s my hubby we chill heavy.” I think as human beings we just naturally do that when we talking or getting to know someone and we feel comfortable with them. Sometimes we lead people on to think that it’s okay for them to give us titles when inside we are just like “WTF?! We just met fall back’” or “Please don’t call me that.” Tell them how you feel so they get the message. You have to set the ground rules in the beginning but if your okay with them calling you the names boo, wifey, hubby, baby etc. do you just be warned it has repercussions if you don’t actually intend to get with them. The “Claim Game” is basically giving someone a TITLE and hoping they act accordingly to the title that was given to them. Next time someone “Claims” you ask yourself “What have I done to allow them to give me a title and think that I am “CLAIMABLE?”


Jamel V. will explain in more detail for those who still don’t understand but this goes BOTH WAYS for male and female.

~Jamal V.
To piggyback on what Kevin began in his last blog, the claim game is a constant fixture in relationships today. Unfortunately, the boundaries of claiming somebody are bleak, uncertain, and can come with a load of mixed feelings and emotional casualties.

The claim game starts as simple as two people who hang out, vibe well, and mesh with each other. You can even say they’re equally yoked. More time is being spent together without the “official” title being put on, and serves as a partial test drive of what’s to come.

There are several problems that can come out of the claim game:

1. Feelings are not balanced and can result in being led on to think something more than what is there.

2. A level of comfort develops, which leads to stagnicity in the relationship, therefore not allowing things to develop further and more maturely.

3. A level of co-dependency develops, which far exceeds the dependent nature of a normal relationship.

These are just the first few problems that come to mind when the infamous and dreaded “claim game” is played.

Unfortunately, I have been a victim of the 3 classic examples listed above. I’ve been lied to about how they feel about me, a level of comfort has been developed, and the women have developed more of a co-dependent relationship with me than I’m sure of anybody in their immediate past. Based on the women of MY past, I question how independent women truly “claim” to be.

In closing, don’t be so quick to claim, then point fingers on who to blame, because you’ll end up being lame, and from square 1 be the same.

Anti-Social Status

Another day, another day, another day!! As we go about each day interacting with people, making new friends and establishing ourselves in the world sometimes we come to realize that there are journey’s in our life we must take. A journey in the sense of establishing who “WE” are as a person after many years of being told what to do by our parents, friends, mentors and random individuals or a journey in the sense of finding/creating who we are as a person. These people trying to mold us into something that we haven’t prepared fully or ventured enough into the UNKNOWN to discovery for ourselves. People who push us to do things we rather not do until we feel that we are at the point, that we have accomplished enough to get to that point. This is where you just want to take a step back from these people and say to yourself “I NEED TO FIND ME!!!” you can’t let anyone find you or create you. This is where the Anti-Social Status kicks in.

As most of my” friends” have noticed for awhile I have been doing my own thing, school, work and that’s pretty much it. People will hit me up like “Kevin you still alive?” or “Why you don’t hit me up anymore?” or “Why you so distant from everyone?”I feel I’ve reached that age where I have to take “MY JOURNEY” and re-evaluate who I interact with and what social groups I affiliate myself with. We all have those people who are cool with you one minute and the next minute they act like they don’t know you, and then come right back when they need something. (I DISPISE THESE PEOPLE LOL) Sometimes you just have to take a stand, no matter if you’re a active person such as myself always wanting to meet people, go out and do this and that, you have to fall back and say to yourself, “WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?”, “WHAT DO THEY MEAN TO ME?” Then you will realize not everyone is on your side as you may think. The plus about this “Anti-Social Status” is that you eliminate those who are I-R-R-E-V-E-L-A-N-T from view, which damages your growth and who just want to use you.

People will take notice if a person who is normally everywhere just stops showing up and being involved, “Where is SO and SO at? Their normally at these type of things?” After a couple times people will be like “OKAY something is wrong somebody find out”, these are the people that are REAL and that actually care about your well being, others are just like oh well there missing out and keep it moving. These are kind of the people you want in your life, who actually are there and support you through whatever you are going through. You learn from your experience of disconnecting from the world and from those who don’t matter. I’ve learned a lot I believe, you can’t actually FIND yourself you have to CREATE yourself and push yourself to do the things you want to do. You only live once, so why not live and let live?

It’s a continuous process and I believe that only you can establish who you are as a person. There are those who I continue to stay in contact with through my “Anti-Social Status” because they give me a REASON too. They are there for the crazy talks, discussions, finding out if I’m still alive, wishing me the best with school, life and keep pushing me to be ME (KEVIN PIERRE)!! Love you guys.

Shoutouts to Nandy, Randy, Ketsy, Rich, Jay “MOFO” Hicks, Bryan, Dalmar, B. Pittman, Vic, Alfred, Alison, Quail ,Lena, Allyson, Marie H, Nikki, Tara F. , Munchy! And to the many others who will remain nameless because I know they prob don’t like to be shouted out hahaha