Category Archives: Communication

It isn’t what you HEARD it is what you KNOW!!

So we all have been the victims of “I heard” ,“So John Doe did this from what I heard” ,”I don’t know, but I heard” so we normally believe whatever we hear just because we know the person who is telling us is usually a credible source. Do we actually do our research though? Think about it, is what you hear actually what the person that told you heard? Think of it as a game of telephone, you have a row of 10 people and the first person starts a message that has to get to the last person. By the time it gets to the last person it isn’t even that close to what the first person told the second person. This is poor listening skills and people adding their own little twists in the stories or what they supposedly “HEARD.” You have to think about the title again “It isn’t what you HEARD it is what you KNOW” and continue telling yourself that.

I have been put in a couple situations where people are just like, “Kevin I heard that person isn’t good, they always talking about someone behind their back. I heard that they are rude and disrespectful.” Personally, I use to go off of what people “HEARD” but I grew up and made my own decisions. I actually got to know the person and come to find out they didn’t do any of what that person said. They where goal oriented had their life on track and didn’t care about things that were being said. To me you have to come up with the decision on your own, you can’t just go with what people said and decide okay “So and so heard this about that person or group of people I’m just going to listen to them.”

This also applies to groups of people as well, “I heard all you Haitians and Africans are the same, dirty, color blind and straight off the boat.” Before I smack the mess out of you get your facts straight, KNOW what you are talking about before opening your mouth. You can’t generalize on a group of people just because of what you HEARD, hearing one thing and knowing another are two different things in itself.

KNOWing is the key to getting around in the world, actually KNOWing something makes you a smarter individual. If you don’t know, don’t say anything about it pretty much MYOB (one of my previous topics). Jumping to conclusions can sometimes make things go sideways especially if you don’t know exactly what’s up. Next time though, when someone says’s “Oh I heard this about such and such” and don’t actually KNOW what they heard get your OWN facts, be your OWN person and make your OWN decisions

Disclaimer: “I heard” can be something else as well so don’t think I only know of one, there are many. For example, I was at a party and I heard Bob and Sam arguing and trading blows in the next rooms. Someone comes up to me and ask me what happen “Well I heard them arguing about blah blah blah” get it? For the stupid people who can’t read between the lines you’re shit out of luck

Respect

Today’s topic refers to respect and how in this day and age no one really has it anymore. Respect has many definitions such as to show regard or consideration for, to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with or respects a formal expression or gesture of greeting, esteem, or friendship.

Now the first thing I will talk about is respect between kids and parents. You know growing up you always listened to your parents, every time you wanted something bad you tried to cry and they would make that face at you and you would just stop crying. Our parents would just strike fear in us that we would have so much respect for them. The kids growing up in this new generation are a trip though. For example, Mom and son around 6 years old walk into the toy store to get him one thing for his birthday, but as a kid you always want more, so he starts to scream and holler for more toys.

Mom: “Jack we can only get you one toy at the moment

Jack: “But mom I want this one too!!”

Mom: “I’m sorry only one for now”

Jack: “I WANT IT NOW NOW NOW!!”
*Screams and Runs around all hyper*
Mom: “Okay pick whatever else you want.”

You don’t ever let your child take control – I know my mom would have backed hand me if I got any louder than her or scream and brought attention to us for a dam toy. Don’t ever spoil your child because they will believe that they can get ANYTHING from you at anytime.

Being of Haitian descent you are taught about “wants” and “needs” and wants NEVER outweigh the needs. Some people can relate to seeing that one child in the supermarket running around and acting a fool and that one lady chasing after them like “stop running Bobby come back over here.” This is a NO BUENO . . .you would be like my mom would not have tolerated this and would have caught you by the ear and turned it so much that you would know you made a mistake by running around. That just shows the respect the child has for you which are NONE, parents you need to get it together. Respect as it pertains to everyone else; this is something that has to go both ways.

Respect for women from guys is something that comes naturally and is taught (Hopefully) as you are growing up. Women should have the same respect as men have for them this is really a two way streak. Being disrespectful to someone shows that you don’t care about the other individuals feelings and don’t consider that you might affect them in the long run. Being respectful to your elders or just anyone shows that you are a person of good quality and character.

RESPECT find out what it means to me….and you know the rest. At the end of the day, it comes down to communication. Remember that actions speak louder than words. When you blow smoke, make sure it’s both ways and not one.

(Edited by Jamel V.)

Mind Your Own Business

Good Morning everyone well . . . . Today’s topic is about minding your own business. We all have the tendencies of wanting to know what is going on with people we know especially if it some type of big issue. Sometimes we have to realize that people keep us out of certain things for a reason. Us as human beings love to be curious and always want to be in the “loop” of what’s going on. Why do people feel that they need to be told about EVERYTHING that is going on in your life?

Some people feel that they need to be told about EVERYTHING because they feel that they thought they are part of your life and feel as though if they tell you everything you should be able to tell them everything as well. That’s really what it boils down to. They were able to trust you with information so they hope in turn you can do the same. The keyword here is “TRUST” you cannot trust everyone with information pertaining to certain things. There are those who you may consider your best friends but they still blabb your information to the world. Then there are those who you aren’t really cool with that won’t tell a soul. This is where you decided who to share your business with and why you want to share it with them.

Some people as your friends like to be told about some of your business especially if you are going through something. For example, if one of my female friends is going through something with a dude and informs me about it, I expect her to continue telling me things so I can support her through the whole situation. (Such as when he hits you up, what does he say, what you say back to him etc.) I really don’t want you to just tell me one day just because you want to tell someone and then you don’t tell me anything and I catch you crying in a corner at the club because he sent you a random text about you being worth nothing to no one. I would feel some type of way because I could have done more but I didn’t.

Minding your own business refers to a lot of things but sometimes as a friend you have the right to ask those random questions. (“Oh you are going on a date?” “With who?” “Who was that person you where talking to for 2 hours?” “ You and bob chilled the other day?why?”)

In conclusion let’s sum up the four main words of this blog:

Mind- the mind is a terrible thing to waste. Don’t waste time and efforts with my life and concerns if you’re not allowed into the circle of trust. If you’re not paying my bills or having sex with me, let your mind wander somewhere else until I decide to reel you in.

Your-not mine, not his, hers, ours, or theirs-the owness comes up on YOU and you alone.

Own- what’s possessed and propertied by you

Business- has many definitions, especially when it comes to personal lives and what’s important to us.

It’s important to make sure that life’s actions are appropriate for us to deal with and share for the good and the bad. If you’ve got a rat, snitch, or an untrustworthy person in the circle you created, get them out before the bubonic plague known as your business starts spreading to areas you don’t want.

(Edited by Jamel V.)

Standards in Relationships

As we continue our topic on having standards . . .today’s topic refers to standards in relationships. So i got some friends to express there thoughts on standards in relationships.

Kevin Pierre
I believe that when it comes to standards you “MUST” think about them before you venture off into the world. Especially when it comes to relationships, people complain about being hurt and this and that but that just means you have to up your standards a bit more just to get that right thing that fits you. It’s like when you’re making Cherry koolaid, it taste okay at first and then after it gets a little bitter and it stops having that buzz that you like. So you update your taste buds to some Grape koolaid, then this has you good for awhile and then loses its appeal to you, so you update to something else. Standards is having something that fits you, that appeals to you and meets your requirements not just “SETTLING” for anything. I was told by my friend “Never just settle for anything” if you just settle that means you don’t care what you let in your life and if that happens you just get hurt.You can’t just “PICK” someone just because there 5’5, brown eyes, thick thighs and a beautiful smile. It has to go deeper then the norm of outer appearance and certain things the person can do for you.

Of course once in a blue I’ll have my friends give there opinions on my topics there opinions i trust and pretty much feel the same way so why repeat the samething twice? lol so . . . .

Munchy Today, people are getting into relationships without setting any standards or boundaries. Although, one may ask,”What are some standards in a relationship?” Personally I think that those standards reflect on the ones you look for in a man/woman.

1.)Respect
(My theory)I’m a very observant kind of gal and I believe that If date a man who is completely disrespectful to his mother, nine times out of ten he will not have any respect for you.

2.) Double-Standard
Don’t implement any rules that you know you WILL NOT follow. *pet peave* Fellas/ladies– If you know you are a flirt don’t tell your partner not to if you are not willing to change and abide by YOUR own rule.

3.) Education
I value education, so it’s extremely important to me! A man that can speak for himself and teach YOU something is a beautiful thing ladies (without insulting your intelligence, of course). In life you are constantly learning, so why not learn more about the opposite sex?

4.)Loyalty
We all need someone who will be faithful to commitments and obligations. I want to know that the person I’m dating always has my back whether it is a with small helpful deed or to be there for me emotionally (e.g. advise, tot lend a ear, shoulder to cry on,etc). They are not just focused on YOU, but also on the GROWTH of the relationship itself.

Andre F.There are a few things that I hold dear when it comes to someone that I date. It has changed as I have gotten older and value women much more so now.

I value intellect. There is nothing more appealing to me than a woman who can go punch for punch with me on any and every issue that we talk about. When a woman possess this quality, i feel we always have something to talk about and if we always have something to talk about we in turn are willing to tell each other everything. Communication is key!

I value self-respect. Any girl that has self-respect for herself can surely be a potential wifey for me. Its a lot of whores running around today and I don’t like that.

I value women who understand traditional roles but wont succumb to them just because a man tells them to do so. Girls who can cook, clean, do it all. Your 5-star chick basically. These women are become more and more rare.

I value looks. I am not shallow but I like for my shorty to compliment me in the looks department.

I also value a women who is god-fearing! For she and I to have a good relationship, we both have to have a strong relationship with GOD.

Those are the main ingredients. These are are things I value when I get serious with a chick.