Category Archives: Friends

Ex-Lover Turnt Best Friend


To build off my last post something that was said by his ex was that my friend was having relations with his female best friend. A lot of time it has to deal with insecurities if it’s brought up A LOT and it may also show a lack of trust in the relationship. This was a false statement and assumptions are always made when your best friend is someone of the opposite sex. My best friend is a female and I look at her as my little sister so I definitely would never think of her in a sexual way. This got me thinking could you be best friends with someone you were intimate with in your past?
From my many group chats I asked this question and got a million different answers. I personally think you can be, as long as boundaries are set. If boundaries aren’t set then people fill they are capable of jumping right back into the fold. Wait a minute though what if you jump into a relationship and find out they had relations in the past with this so called “best friend?” Now this is a tougher one because they’ve already established a bond of friendship and that’s what you’re trying to do. The responses I received from guys and girls was extremely interesting.
Girls: That’s not his best friend anymore I am his best friend

Guys: I can no longer date her knowing that her best friend has had what I am having now.
. . .but if they had the best friend
Girls: Out of respect for my relationship I would let my best friend know what it is as far as our friendship. A lot of space will be required from him if he respects my relationship and friendship.

Guys:Boundaries would have to be set, even though I know I don’t want that old thing back, respecting the person I am with is key.
Generally I posted the most common answers but I think it is up to you as a couple to decide what you want to do. Jealousy is a hell of a drug and to let past actions ruin your future endeavors won’t let you grow as an individual. Life happens sometimes and all we can do is move forward. The real question is can an Ex-Lover really be your best friend? It’s really hard to say but just take it this way it will feel like having a 3rd wheel in your relationship all the time. Especially if your significant other hasn’t put a “friendly” distance between the present relationship and the past relationship.

“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one”

The Weekly Reset

So we all have our bad weeks or our bad months and just sometimes need a reset. Not in the sense that your deleting that experience from your life, more so you are starting the week in a positive way. Last week was really bad for me, whatever you want to call really bad. My friend was diagnosed with cancer, other friends mom died, had an allergic reaction, lost a lot of friends, social life is in the shitter and had to purchase a new phone at full retail. All those things may not seem bad but I won’t go into detail about it. I am just letting you know that this stuff happened to me last week and this is a new week. New week brings new energy and positive vibes.

When Monday hits I like to send a mass text message to a couple of people with positive energy. We all should start our week knowing that this week will be different the the previous one. If you can’t refresh yourself on a Monday and start a new then whats the point? I enjoy life with the greatest people and I try to smile at everything. It’s all about smiling and being great. Yes not everything is going the way you want it to but life is always going to get better. I never regret any decision I make during the previous week I just learn from every situation and try to do better.

What I am saying is to continue creating your memories and keep being positive. Every week is a new week to be better and do great things. You never want to regret the things you did the previous week. I had a bad week but I have moved on (weekly reset). New week, new me and positive vibes. To busy loving the person I’m becoming and loving the people that are around me. Laugh at everything and just enjoy life.

“Laugh as much as you breathe and love as long as you live”

The Ugly Friend (Part 2)

I touched on this topic almost 4 years ago (Part 1) and it has to deal with personality not beauty. I feel that your outer beauty is one piece of the puzzle that defines who you are. Another piece being your personality that you give off to those people around you. I always have an open ear for my friends and whatever we talk about stays between us. Being that I am a guy I have a lot of female friends and they always love to talk. I feel like I am in a reality show sometimes but I am the one who observes, gives support and then gives advice later. Not saying I don’t have male friends but we tend to not go into detail about a lot of things. When we do we really just cut the person off and move on with life. As a guy, do we have that ugly friend? Yes we do.
One of my peoples (lets call him Chris) was dealing with a chick for a little bit (lets call her Karrueche) and they where kicking it very well. A couple months passed and it seems they where getting serious. He finally introduced her to the guys and come to find out she slept with one Chris’s friends before (lets call him Drake). Instead of her coming forward with it she kept it to herself. Even though they weren’t girlfriend/boyfriend I feel like it’s just the principal of the matter.  Say something now because if you say it later it may be worse. Come to find out she was still messing with Drake even though her and Chris where exclusive. So now she is messing with both dudes. One guy looking for an actual relationship and the other that just wants someone around for fun. Long story short Chris found out the hard way. If this isn’t the ugliest situation in life, I don’t know what is. What makes Drake the ugly friend is that him and Chris are boys. They’ve known each other for a long time. Your moral compass should have said something when you where first introduced. He still wanted to be friends afterwards, which is the crazy thing.
What makes someone an ugly person to me, especially an ugly friend is that they aren’t straightforward with you. They preach about not being stabbed in the back but they are the one holding the knife. An ugly friend is someone who doesn’t bite there tongue but tells you what exactly is going on. In a situation like this I feel that if we are “boys” just tell me now, don’t wait until I am all in my feelings and I find out from a fourth party. This makes no sense to me, as guys sometimes we can go back to being friends but for me that’s only if you tell me from the beginning. We do show our guy friends pictures of potential females, just so we make sure no one knows them. This is a little confirmation that we can continue our advancement on her but still if you saw her picture say something. If you are going to have an ugly friend that acts up like that, then are they really your friend?

“As people grow up they realize it becomes less important to have more friends, and more important to have real ones”

Take One For The Team


So you are out with your crew and you are all having a great time. Then another group pops up of the opposite gender and you both have about the same number of people in the crew. They looking good, you guys are looking good, so the team makes a move. Everyone picks up on somebody but then you realize the one you got isn’t as pleasing to look at as the other ones. So what do you do? Take one for the team or quickly step away? You know if you step away the team might lose but if you take one for the team you might lose. What do you do?
We have all been in those situations where we literally had to “take one for the team” and it wasn’t the best thing ever. A situation I was put into is when I was with my boys in Miami, having a wonderful time. We was on the beach, had the music bumping, everyone trying to be around us. Three girls walked up on us and my boys pounced like lions trying to find they mate. I was left with the friend they just wanted to bring along. You know how I know she was the friend they really didn’t care about? It’s because she was wearing a 2 piece with a huge c-section scar and had the worst edges I have ever seen in my life. I had to make a life changing decision on if I would “take one for the team” or walk away from this situation. I raised my hands up, said “nope” and walked away. I would not be a victim of this “take one for the team” situation in Miami of all places. I am not the best looking dude in the world but I am acceptable to look at. Sadly she was not and I would not force myself to just sit there and entertain her. I used my “pass” for the year and I was fine with that.
What is the “pass” you ask . . . well it’s something me and a couple of my friends do. We are allowed only 1 pass for the year. Meaning if there are a group of girls and we don’t want to kick it to the one friend we just say “pass” and walk away. Not the best system but it works for us. If you have an understanding with your friends then you guys would have created a system that fits you when you need to be saved or you just want to walk away from a situation. Don’t act like you don’t. I’ve saved a couple of my female friends from dudes who were harassing them. They gave me that one look and I’d smooth walk over, grab her hand and walk off with her while the dude was looking. 
Remember to set some guidelines when it comes to “taking one for the team” because if this isn’t set then we all losing. Sometimes people don’t like being put in these situations but all you can do is live and learn.