Category Archives: Friends

The MiddleMan: A Male’s Perspective

The MiddleMan . . . . we have all heard this term or have been one in some sense when going about our daily routine. The MiddleMan refers to many different things but most commonly for relationships, hooking people up or friends fighting. You know you always have someone be the mediator for one of your endeavors whether it be trying to hook you up with a friend, fixing a friendship or even a relationship. You don’t necessarily need a MiddleMan but no matter what someone will be considered a MiddleMan.

When you trying to get with someone you always got that middle person to try and direct the other person towards your direction. This is sometimes how the conversations turn out.

Dude1: Hey yo you know that chick

MiddleMan: Yeah man I went to school with her she mad cool why?

Dude1: Yo put me on she mad cute

MiddleMan: Ight I got you

MiddleMan: Hey Girl1 I wanta introduce yo to my people, Dude1

Girl1: Hey

This is when MiddleMan slowly drifts away and let them talk and blah blah blah for the next however long they want to talk for, while MiddleMan stands awkwardly to the side either texting or finding someone to talk to.

(One week into talking)

Dude1: Yo does she talk about me son? Send her a text and find out if she likes me

MiddleMan: Ight

MiddleMan: Yeah man you got her feeling some type of way

Dude1: Word!

MiddleMan sometimes is the person you can rely on in situations like this because you know they got you for anything. Same example would work for your female friend if she was your so called “MiddleMan” and you wanted her to hook you up with her friend she definitely holds you down with that, that’s if she is a dope ass female friend. For guys make sure that you have a FEMALE as a MiddleMan because they are the best in the WORLD!! They tell you everything and literally soften the chick up to like you more. Not saying that your boys ain’t good but a female MiddleMan is the best because they always want to see you happy, especially if they think your a good person.

Another example of being the MiddleMan is when your friends are beefing and they pretty much want you to pick a side, be the messenger for the whole conflict or help resolve it. This is when it really really sucks to be the MiddleMan because you really don’t want to be involved, but you just want the conflict to end. You just want things to go back to the way they where, so we all can just be friends again. You get those messages like “Tell your friend they need to come get there stuff out of my room for I just throw it out the window” or “You should tell “THAT” person they should be apologizing to me for being so dam phony.” Friendship arguments are usually petty as is but those are the type of things you really don’t want to be a part of but it happens that way a lot because your friends with both people. You get dragged into everything no matter what.

Being the MiddleMan for relationship problem sucks SOOOO BADLY especially if these two people you thought had a decent relationship. You see sides of people you don’t really want to see and look at them differently. Sometimes it makes you just want to make sure your able to fix it because one person is talking in your ear about missing the other, loosing focus from life and just wanting to make everything right. While the other person is pretty much kind of doing the same thing, so you sit there trying not to get involved but there already spilling their guts out to you so that makes you immediately involved. In these types of situations you got to have a lot of trust in the person you have as your MiddleMan because you hope whatever they are saying isn’t going to the wrong people. For example if one of my peoples is asking me for advice and telling me they miss someone, you’re not supposed to rely that information to someone outside the circle. Someone who has no clue what’s going on with their relationship should not be involved, then this is when rumors and bullshit spread. We all know how rumors go, when they get back to you there all twisted and completely wrong. So this refers to my other topic “It isn’t what your HEARD it’s what you KNOW!!” get your facts straight.

I think to be a MiddleMan for a relationship and actually make it positive and work out is the best feeling ever because it feels like you just won and are unbeatable. If you lose its like dam, “FUCK” I tried my hardest I’m sorry I apologize a million times over and then you kind of feel slumped because you had an obligation to help and you failed. So it’s a win or lose situation.

**Disclaimer** No more than 1 MiddleMan at a time, 2 opinions is not always better than one DEPENDING on the situation (especially when it comes down to your relationship). Opinions always vary on certain things. OPEN YOUR EARS AND LISTEN, MiddleMan isn’t there to babysit you and hold your hands through the whole process so make sure if they tell you to stop being stubborn and man-up (or woman-up) just do it.

**The MiddleMan: A Female’s Perspective coming out soon written by one of my female friends =)

Is It Real Love?

When we think about love we think about many different things like the love you have for your parents, family, friends, food, shirt, sneakers, phone etc. The love I will be talking about is the love that people say they have for each other such as the love of a friend, the love for a significant other, etc. We, as humans, tend to throw the word love around sometimes not even understanding what it means or “WHY” we have love for each other.

To have love for a friend is to say that you trust them in a sense and you have their back no matter what the situation. To have love for a friend is something that is as deep as calling someone your BEST FRIEND, it’s like they are your extended family and you trust them. I have people that I love as an extended family because I grew up with them and I trust them with a lot of things. These people I feel as though whenever I am going through something they are always there to pick me up no matter what. I won’t hit them up for 2-3 days and they will call me like “You better have a reason for not checking in with me.” You will fight with these people toe to toe and be mad about random issues but at the end of the day you laugh it off and still have love for them.

To have love for a significant other is a very tricky subject because some people throw the world love around when they want to keep someone, make someone feel special or just want to use it because it sounds good. Before having love for a significant other ask yourself these questions,

1. When you’re with them do you feel as if you are on another planet with just them on your mind and in your heart?
2. Does the world seem brighter and more beautiful than usual?
3. Do you wake up and go to sleep feeling completed?
4. When you are away from them for a long period of time do you only think about them?
5. Are you able to ignore the negative/imperfect things about them?
6. Can you be 100 percent yourself with them and feel comfortable?
7. Do they make you feel good about yourself?

For me it is a million more questions, but these are the simple key questions that if they can’t fully be answered then sometimes the word love has no meaning. Love is a feeling that comes from inside of you, you necessarily DON’T have to ask yourself these questions to prove that you are in love with somebody but something has to be fueling why you are in love with someone. You can’t be talking to someone for two weeks and feel that they are getting less interested and drop the L bomb on them like it’s the right thing to do, NO IT IS NOT. The other person usually sits there either thinking 1.Is It Real Love? 2.You can’t be serious. or 3.Why? Everything takes time you can’t rush love or defining why you love someone. With time comes better opportunity for more doors to open with this person and for you to understand more of why you love them and define to yourself and them that it is REAL LOVE.

Live, Laugh and Love that’s all you can do.

Having Standards in 2010

Hey Everyone! Today’s topic is having standards in 2010. This basically refers to the people you surround yourself with everyday of the week.

Standards is defined a rule or principle that is used as a basis for judgment or an average or normal requirement, quality, quantity, level, grade, etc. (dictionary.com)

Now that we KNOW what standards are we have to sit there and ask ourselves “Do I have standards?” You will know immediately by the type of people you surround yourself with. “Do I have friendship standards?” Do you just let anybody into your friendship circle? If you do then you have no standards in my opinion. This always depends though especially if you have a good group of friends that you trust and one of them wants to bring someone into the loop. If you trust this persons “standards” then you should be fine and nothing will happen, BUT if the person that is brought in is just the SCUM of the earth I think there should be some type of intervention for this case. Me personally I don’t let everyone into my friend circle . . . I break it down into 4 categories:

Acquaintances – People who are not of friend caliber yet and I talk to here and there on some random stuff (Once in a blue)
People – Those who have earned a little bit of my trust and that might have a little potential of being hit up on a regular
Friends – Those who you can have actual conversations with and sometimes don’t give you the greatest advice but are still there
Best Friends – Are those who are always around no matter what, you can call them at 3am and they will pick up the phone pissed as hell but still be there for you to listen. They are pretty much your cheering section and always want to see you do better

When it comes to friends you have to have standards because if you surround yourself with “ain’t shit people” you start to become one of them. Standards when it comes to friend’s lets you know who you CAN rely on and who you CAN’T rely on.

Now standards as it pertains to relationships, this is something you build up as you go in and out of them.

TO BE CONTINUED . . . . Standards and Relationships . . . .

The Other Guy (Topic Chosen By JamJam)

Good Morning Readers! Hopefully everyone had a good weekend and enjoyed it! WELL today’s topic is about “The Other Guy.” The other guy I am referring to is the one that females refer to as the one that f**ks them over so they say F all dudes.

It always starts off boy meets girl, they start to talk about themselves and then it gets down to talking about past relationships or people who we talked to before them. (It always good to know about the last person because you can learn things not to do that will piss off the person you trying to talk to now.) When I’m talking to a female first thing they ALWAYS say is the dude fucked her over for another girl or he took her for granted. (Now that we know what the other dude did we try not to make the same mistake) Sometimes when I am talking to my female friend’s conversations usually go like this:

Kevin: So why aren’t you with anyone your mad chill, relaxed and great to talk too.
Female: Well, I’m over dudes at the moment the last guy I was talking to he fucked me over and I am just over dudes, there all the same
Kevin: PAUSE! . . . all dudes are not the same, sorry the ones that you messed with where a different breed. I apologize for them.
Female: Dudes really aren’t shit though they all want the same thing! I hate them all
Kevin: You should rephrase that because the dudes YOU FUCKED with aren’t shit so get it together

That’s how most conversations end . . . . with them saying “Dudes ain’t shit” just say “Dudes I’ve fucked with ain’t shit” then we wouldn’t be so mad. Now that we know your situation, which is very common among females, what is the next step?

Most times when females say they aren’t into talking to people at the moment it’s only because they are still feeling some type of way about the other dude. This other dude messes it up for the rest of the male population because most females are self conscious about this stuff. Some think “okay I don’t want to get hurt again I will play it safe now”, “I don’t want to waste time on another person again” or “I’m not cute enough for anyone else” (YES I’ve heard females say this one). All you can do as a guy is just be there and be supportive , try to prove them wrong that all guys aren’t the same. Females have to remember though they need to stop messing with little boys and start messing with men who won’t treat them like that. Live, learn and move the hell on . . . you can’t let your past troubles define what you do in the future with someone else. If you let your past rule your life then you’ll live in your past forever.