Category Archives: Life

Before You Ask . . .


Honestly before you ask me if I am okay you should think about these couple things. I grew up with my sister and saw her everyday. We graduated high school together (Class of 2006) and she made high school tolerable for me. I honestly didn’t like 71.4% of the people I went to school with. I was extremely odd and weird but that is what makes me different. Yes we still lived at home with our parents because in some cultures they don’t kick you out until you find your place and get married. I would wake up in the morning (5 AM), piss her off by waking her up and say good morning. Throughout the day we would text random ass videos to each other, laugh and talk shit about each other. She had me create 2 Spotify playlists for her and keep them up to date, since we pretty much liked the same type of music. I paid for my Spotify but she had the free one and just subscribed to my playlist. She was included in my positive Monday morning texts, which she sent to some of her friends. She encouraged me to continue writing my blog because she felt it was real and gave people a relatable person. 
Now think about this, I can no longer see my sister everyday. Our 10 year high school reunion is coming up and do you think I want to go without her? Every morning I wake up and I pass an empty lifeless room. I randomly wait for a text from her but nothing comes in. I no longer listen to 2 of the 3 Spotify playlists I have. I haven’t sent a positive Monday morning text in weeks because I haven’t been positive. I still write my blog as it is easier for me to write my thoughts then speak them. Yes everyday I cry for my sister, while I’m at work, when I’m in the car, when I’m home and wherever I go. People say it will get better but when something unexpected happens to your sibling what gets better about it? When you have someone that’s an intricate part of your life no longer involved in it, life isn’t the same. At the moment I am fine but the next moment I could slip into a memory of her or something may trigger a thought about her and I will just be emotional. People ask me if they could do anything for me and my response will always be, “Can you bring my sister back?” If not, then please don’t ask the question.
Before you ask me if I am okay, I know it’s the nice thing to do but I will never be okay. Life has unexpectedly changed for me and I will try my best to keep moving forward. 
“Life is a series of unexplained events, unplanned laughter, unexpected tears, occasional sorrows and overwhelming joy.” – Susan Gale

Jealousy

I would have to say jealousy is one of those feelings you really can’t avoid. Everyone has it and it always seems to shows its face when you least expect it. For all of 2015 I have just been living life, being happy and exploring new things. Ultimately I have been happy with no issues but people hate to see you happy if they aren’t happy. Jealousy is a hell of a drug and God don’t like ugly. Not saying jealousy is a bad thing but too much of it can make you come off as a really bad person.
I really don’t like posting my life on social media but sometimes I slip up and post it. People see what I am doing and always have something negative to say. These are the people I Ignore. When someone hits you with the “how was your lil trip?” or “how is your lil friend doing” you already know they are bitter, jealous and pissed. Anyone that hits you with the “lil” in between something is mad at your life. This is not up for debate. The other thing is when people say “why you ain’t take me with you? You would have had a lot more fun if I came.” I heard this about 8 times this year, I didn’t invite you for a reason. 
I personally think that everyone gets jealous no matter if you’re in a friendship or relationship. Not saying if you’re in a relationship you go out and flirt with someone but the “thought” that you are gets your significant other jealous. Makes them try a lot harder to keep your attention. We look on someone’s social media feed and see comments from the opposite sex like, “wtf are they cheating on me” or “is that someone they use to talk to?” It’s always something not so serious but it happens, especially if you start over thinking things. Sometimes in friendships people get jealous if you invite one person out over the other person. They see pictures online or they hear that you had a great time with the other person and not them, so they get mad. It happens, life happens you just have to not let it get to you. 
Jealousy is something that happens in all of us, we are human. To let it consume you and make you a bitter person is not good. Take a step back, catch your life before jealousy grabs a hold of you and never let’s you go. 
“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time” Drake (Over My Dead Body)

When are you having kids?


The face I make every time I get asked this question. I get it I am getting older and time is ticking but you not going to ask me this question all the dam time. Why don’t you mind your business and step all the way out of my life. I feel like if you don’t know my life you shouldn’t ask me this question. I feel like people around my age or older/younger then me that already have kids always just ask me that. With my friends we always joke around like, “Yeah you’re next to get married” or “You’re having kids first” but that’s just something we do since we are getting older.Personally before anything I want to get married and then have kids. Not saying I don’t ever want to have kids just saying I want to get MARRIED first. One hurdle at a time because the moment you bring in new life into this world is the moment that everything changes.
Imagine having a child in your image. Feeding them, grooming them, making sure they know right from wrong, educating them and making sure that they are on the right path. That is a huge step to take and it should be planned out and not rushed.  I know no matter what I do in life that having kids will be the best experience in the world. My mom told me that she trust the decisions I make in life because she raised me right. When I have a child I want to be able to do the same thing for them. I don’t want them to regret anything in life and just want them to live it.
When are you going to get married? I think that’s a better question and I would just say, “You know it’s in the works.” That’s a planning process with your significant other just like having kids. Can I make sure my life is situated before I have kids? Can I be off child support with Sallie Mae before I have kids? I noticed with some people who have kids they always tend to regret the trips and adventures they didn’t take. I don’t want to be that person. Yes I love going on my adventures and trips but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop when I have kids. That just means I will have to include them in the fold. I think people should be more mindful of when they ask, “When are you having kids?” Only because you don’t know if someone isn’t able to create a child. Someone just doesn’t want to have children. They may have tried a number of times but have failed each time. You should also be mindful of when you ask someone “When are you going to get married?” They might not want to do that or they just haven’t been asked yet. You don’t really know what someone is going through to be asking personal life changing questions
When are you having kids Kevin? Honest answer is probably a couple months after I get married. I want to be in my own place and at least put a ring on her finger before anything. Everyone has a different answer for this but be mindful when you generally ask this question. Sometimes it can hurt the person more then you think.

“Life is a journey with problems to solve, lessons to learn, but most of all, experiences to enjoy”

10 Years Later

            Sometimes I think it’s good to reflect on the past just to look at where you’ve been and where you plan to go. It’s coming up to 10 years since I graduated from high school and I took the time to go thru my HS yearbook. This is what I discovered:
  • I am old as shit
  • I was ugly
  • If these people tried to get buddy-buddy with me now I’d tell them to fuck off
  • All these people got kids and families
  • I’m working on my 2nd passport
  • I got 2 degrees and a non-profit

            I would have to say I came a long way from being ugly since 1988, graduating from ACHS in 2006 and being the great person I am today. Would I go back and re-do anything in my life? No, why would I? The things I did in my past made me the great person I am today. If someone ever tells you they would re-do certain situations in their life that made them who they are today, then smack them one good time. I feel certain situations good or bad lead us on a particular path to greatness. Not saying that you don’t want to live a particular moment over again it’s the fact that some people want to change that moment. That moment could have made you who you are today, if you change it you may not know where that new path will lead you.
            I always get people who say “oh you changed,” of course I changed. I don’t stay the same; I just grow and evolve as a person. Every day is a new day to be better then the person you use to be. The person from 10 years ago shouldn’t be the same person you see today. When I look back at this very moment 10 years from now I want to be in a better place then I am now. I want to be doing something different, married, kids, taking more trips around the world and just being genuinely happy. It’s all about setting your life goals and pushing yourself to meet them. The person that I was 10 years ago made me who I am today but I am not the same person from 10 years ago. I have become a better version of me and have not let my past define who I am. It’s good to reflect on your past just to make sure you’re not still doing the things you use to do that don’t benefit your growth. Upgrade your life and your next 10 years will be the greatest time of your life.

“Your past never defines your future”

*DISCLAIMER: I’m aware its not exactly 10 years yet but this blog is in reference to going ON 10 years from graduating from HS