I feel that on your birthday you always have some type of revelation or reevaluation of your life for the past year. You look back at all the good and bad decisions, then you begin to make executive decisions on different shit. You make executive decisions on what you will and won’t allow in your life anymore. As you get older I think you make these things a lot stricter depending on what’s going on in your life. Continue reading
Category Archives: Random Thought
When are you having kids?
The face I make every time I get asked this question. I get it I am getting older and time is ticking but you not going to ask me this question all the dam time. Why don’t you mind your business and step all the way out of my life. I feel like if you don’t know my life you shouldn’t ask me this question. I feel like people around my age or older/younger then me that already have kids always just ask me that. With my friends we always joke around like, “Yeah you’re next to get married” or “You’re having kids first” but that’s just something we do since we are getting older.Personally before anything I want to get married and then have kids. Not saying I don’t ever want to have kids just saying I want to get MARRIED first. One hurdle at a time because the moment you bring in new life into this world is the moment that everything changes.
Imagine having a child in your image. Feeding them, grooming them, making sure they know right from wrong, educating them and making sure that they are on the right path. That is a huge step to take and it should be planned out and not rushed. I know no matter what I do in life that having kids will be the best experience in the world. My mom told me that she trust the decisions I make in life because she raised me right. When I have a child I want to be able to do the same thing for them. I don’t want them to regret anything in life and just want them to live it.
When are you going to get married? I think that’s a better question and I would just say, “You know it’s in the works.” That’s a planning process with your significant other just like having kids. Can I make sure my life is situated before I have kids? Can I be off child support with Sallie Mae before I have kids? I noticed with some people who have kids they always tend to regret the trips and adventures they didn’t take. I don’t want to be that person. Yes I love going on my adventures and trips but that doesn’t mean I am going to stop when I have kids. That just means I will have to include them in the fold. I think people should be more mindful of when they ask, “When are you having kids?” Only because you don’t know if someone isn’t able to create a child. Someone just doesn’t want to have children. They may have tried a number of times but have failed each time. You should also be mindful of when you ask someone “When are you going to get married?” They might not want to do that or they just haven’t been asked yet. You don’t really know what someone is going through to be asking personal life changing questions
When are you having kids Kevin? Honest answer is probably a couple months after I get married. I want to be in my own place and at least put a ring on her finger before anything. Everyone has a different answer for this but be mindful when you generally ask this question. Sometimes it can hurt the person more then you think.
“Life is a journey with problems to solve, lessons to learn, but most of all, experiences to enjoy”
Being Black in Corporate America
After graduating college I’ve had a couple jobs as both a contractor and a permanent employ, which turned out to be great experiences. I learned a lot from the environments I have been in and I know that it’s harder being Black in Corporate America. From experience you’re already at a disadvantage because of your skin color. They assume you really don’t know anything and they put you in a bucket of assumptions they created about black people. This bucket is just filled with society’s fears, feelings and thoughts about our community. So they throw the bucket on the table and start attaching these things immediately to you.
When you are educated it strikes fear in Corporate America because it lets them know that you really won’t take shit. I have been in a bunch of situations where I know more then the people I worked with but had to work twice as hard to get my point across. They may not go with my point but I never back down in letting them know why my point is more relevant then someone else’s. I stay professional as possible because the moment you break is the moment that they attach something from the bucket to you. The moment they label you as the angry black employee.
The moment that you show that your a different breed of person is the moment that people feel scared. The moment that someone can’t have power over you because you have proven yourself and continue to prove yourself. I told one of my co-workers at my previous job that I had to work twice as hard as him to get where I needed to be. He told me it doesn’t make sense because they have rules against that. Yes some places have diversity programs but sometimes that is just a smokescreen to make it feel like they are handling the issue. It’s not obvious when it’s being done so rules may not apply to certain situations.
Any time I get into a corporate environment I learn human resource policies and who exactly to talk to when situations arise. Personally I feel it’s good to know your environment and the laws of the land. This will prevent any situation getting out of hand. Corporate America is literally a cutthroat place for people of color in general because if you don’t fit a certain mold you can’t advance where you need to be. You may have 3 times the skills of someone else of non-color but that one mess up you did 2 years ago will hold you back from being great, over the 5 mess ups this person recently had.
What keeps me motivated is to keep pushing to be better then everyone around me. As long as you are killing them with a smile and kind words they will never have anything to say against you. Be as professional as possible and your time will come. Everything falls into place at the right time and people will acknowledge your greatness as soon as you save them from drowning.
“Diversity is about all of us, and about us having to figure out how to walk through this world together” – Jacqueline Woodson
Love My Melanin
Melanin:The pigment that gives human skin, hair, and eyes their color. Dark-skinned people have more melanin in their skin than light-skinned people have. http://www.medicinenet.com/
Honestly, I hate people who say they dislike their skin color or just anything about themselves. I understand that the world is crazy and that you are provided more privilege if your skin color is different but lets be serious. If you dislike something about yourself, like your skin color, that says a lot about you. You need to re-evaluate your life.
You are going to love my skin color and accept me for me. I love me enough to know that just because we are different, that we are still the same and that we are all human. With all the craziness happening in this world we need to sit down and make sure we love ourselves before we love another. They may hate our skin color but as long as you love it that’s all that matters. We are all created different and must accept the fact that we all live in this world. The fact that we can’t even coexist because of skin color still throws me for a loop. Just because I have more melanin then some people doesn’t mean you should hate me. Get to know me and you might realize we have a lot in common.
Before saying, “I hate the color of my skin” make sure that you don’t hate yourself. If you hate yourself, I will completely understand but if you don’t think about what you said. Sometimes we are put in situations where people make us feel ugly, hate ourselves, bully us because of the color of our skin. As long as you love yourself and know that you are the most incredible person in the world you will be fine. It’s more then what is on the surface but what’s in your mind and how you view yourself.
“Love the skin you’re in”