Category Archives: Random Thought

The LIST of Grievances -knowing what you want in dealing with the opposite sex (By Jessica J-C)

So, Kevin has invited me to shed some light on his frustrations regarding male – female interaction. While I don’t pretend to know everything about relationships, I do enjoy talking to other people about them and learning from others, while putting in my .08 cents here and there.

A portion of our BBM conversation on Monday went as follows:

Kevin: Females are confusing. That is all. Still enjoying my summer though… Everything is going right. But females can never be direct with what they want with me. I’m supposed to read their minds and figure it out. Hate it…lol

Jessica: They’re not direct with what they want because they don’t know what they want! Plain and Simple!

…yeah I took it there. But out of all fairness (because I am a female and I am naturally biased :-P), I will say that both men and women have their moments where they cannot be direct with what they want because they just simply don’t know what they want. Everyone at some point in time goes through it. Especially those of us who are in their early twenties and are experimenting with new found freedom. we’re still young and are trying to navigate the world of adult relationships. We play games to learn what we want and to see what we can get away with. We want to be able to have our cake and eat it too. Who doesn’t??

And the conversation progressed, Kevin shared a list of grievances – the things he has experienced with females that simply grinds his gears. I’ll try to address them to the best of my ability. Not that I have done, will do, or support anything listed below…I’m just playing the devil’s advocate here!

The ones that push up too damn hard

Could be one of two things. Either ole girl REALLY likes you and will not take no for an answer. Or it could just be an ego thing. Women DO chase, just as men do, and enjoy the challenge of snagging something that is hard to get, just for fun. Its an ego thing.

Using sex to keep a guy around.

Ummm…that’s called manipulation regardless of it being intentional or not. It’s simply not cool. If someone doesn’t want to be with you then just let them leave. You should want someone to stay with you out of their own FREE WILL and not because you are holding them hostage.

Rushing something that doesn’t need to be rushed.

They want the relationship, sex, whatever it is they want. And they want it FAST. They like you, and they are focused on the way they feel at that time, so they feel the need to jump the gun and give your relationship a title. They want to snag you before someone else does and they want to eliminate the chances of you screwing them over so they want to claim you.

Not stating when they’re with someone so they can talk to you.

Ok, for the record, men are guilty of this too, along with everything else on this list of grievances. That’s another case of someone wanting to have their cake and eat it too. It’s deceiving and manipulative, and it some cases considered to be cheating.

As I mentioned before, both men and women are guilty of doing things on Kevin’s list of grievances. We all need to remember that the next time you say that someone of the opposite sex is bipolar. Everyone, at some point in time will be confused about what they want. It’s not just a male vs. female thing.

And don’t think it’s a bad thing to not know what you want. Like I said before, many of us are young and are still trying to learn and get adapted to being in relationships. BUT, it becomes a problem when someone’s feelings are at stake as a result of your indecisiveness. But I’ll save that for another conversation…

H-A-T-E-R-S part2 “Why do haters exist?”

As we wake up every day we sometimes wake up with a twitch, not a normal twitch but the twitch you know that someone is hating on you. Some people get frustrated over these people and always ask themselves “Why do haters exist?” There are a million reasons why haters exist but you literally have to sit there and say it aloud to yourself “WHY DO HATERS EXIST?”

Haters exist mainly for the purpose of bringing you down as an individual and holding you back from growing. As stated before by Jamel V “A hater can bring you down, often making you question yourself and wonder if the things they are saying about you are true. They make you wonder yourself worth and value while often stopping you from being on your game.” They thrive off of your despair and your sadness.

You can always turn this into a positive thing like I do and remake the definition of “WHY DO HATERS EXIST?” These “haters” exist to make you feel better about yourself; they are here to push you forward because you know someone is watching you and “LIKE” what you are doing. They wish they could do it themselves but they are not as talented so they encourage you to do better by trying to make you feel bad about how things are turning out. These people are that personal fan club you wanted all along but you don’t realize it unless you are thinking positive about it.

When asking yourself “WHY DO HATERS EXIST?” Just tell yourself they exist because everyone needs a cheering section. They ARE your personal cheering section to motivate you to continue to do better then them in every aspect of life. Don’t get down because someone gives you negative responses, there just pushing you to better yourself in every aspect of your life.

” H-A-T-E-R-S” part1

Good day all, today’s topic will be about “haters” this is part 1 provided by us by my good friend Jamel sooooo enjoy . . .

Jamel V.
Hater is defined as the following:
– to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion for or extreme hostility toward;.
– to be unwilling; dislike: I hate to do it.
– to feel intense dislike, or extreme aversion or hostility.

The definition of a hater in today’s society is somebody who follows all of these definitions. In addition, they are people who smile in your face, lie with their teeth, and have no problem bad mouthing you behind your back. They’re the kind of people that embrace negativity, especially towards you. They want nothing but bad things for you and wish bad “ju-ju” upon you in all levels, including relationships, jobs, and other opportunities.

A hater can do one of two things. A hater can bring you down, often making you question yourself and wonder if the things they are saying about you are true. They make you wonder your self worth and value while often stopping you from being on your game. They are often the voice that you hear in your head as you begin to move forward but often move backwards because of doubt and uncertainty that these candy-asses possess. They thrive off this unknown given power to them.

For me, haters give me ammunition. If I’m pissing people off and making them mad because I’m doing something with my life, that’s a good thing. For me, I’m not somebody who is physical and causes bodily harm to others. I’m a person whose actions speak louder than my words. I love to mentally mess with my haters because no matter what they say to me, the fact that I eat, sleep, and breathe success, the fact that I’m moving higher and not at the half step level that they’re at, and the fact that I’m Jamel Vanderburg and they’re not makes them a bunch of no good scum sucking bastards. I have far better things to do with my time than to be concerned with people’s comments and actions that make turd markings look like hieroglyphics and something to actually care about.

Bottom line: haters motivate. Don’t let them bring you down, but elevate you to where you wanna be, have to be, and need to be. I go by this motto: At the end of the day, I’ll always win because while you’re stuck in the past and stuck in a parasitic world, I’m soaring with the eagles and crapping on your negativity in all ways. HA-HA!!!

Why Do Taken People Act Like There Single?

So as some of us come to realize whenever we go out to the clubs, parties, get together or just some type of social event. There are always those one or two people who act like there not taken so they are all over the place. Questions is why are you taken bout act single?

Everyone encounters someone like this no matter where they go in life. One of my experiences is that I met this chick at a party and we made eye contact, she grabbed my hand and pulled me in (I’m a person who loves to network, meet new people and just learn) . She then started to ask 21 million questions and literally had me with her the whole night, dancing talking and having a good time. We took each other’s contact info down and continued to talk back and forth for about a week or so. She added me on facebook and to my surprise it said she was in a relationship, when she told me she was single. She got a lot of pictures with her hubby and all that, when i asked her “Why are you acting single?” she simply said to me that she temporarily is single and looking for someone new but she is still with her boyfriend. After this i told her to delete my number and keep it moving i will not be involved in somebody’s game.

I understand when you out with your people your significant other isn’t around so you want to do you at the moment but leading people on is a big NO NO. This to me shows how little respect you have for your relationship and the person you are with. Respect and trust are the 2 main ingredients to a relationship and to have one without the other is impossible. So once again “why do taken people act like there single?” maybe because they feel as though they need to see if they still got it. They try to see if there able to pull stuff how they use to when they where single. They just need some type of rush or change in their life.

It is cool to network and socialize with people where ever you go but just know that in the back of your mind you are “already taken.” When getting other people’s number’s it should be all about networking and being upfront with certain things if there getting attached to you.