Category Archives: Relationship

Let’s Build

You ever get into something with someone and hope that you could actually build something with them and it actually turns into nothing special? Like you are the one building them up and it’s not reciprocated at all. When you are supposed to be a “team” and build together but it’s not working out the way you wanted. You realize you are dealing with a person with no vision/goals for the future and they just want to stay stagnant. In the beginning they had all these ambitions but as they proceeded to get comfortable with you they just want you to just be happy with who they are. That’s great and all but the world doesn’t stand still for stagnant people.
We’ve all been at that stage in our lives when we just want to build with someone and leave the tomfoolery behind us. Sometimes it is just hard finding someone of quality that is on the same level as us though. We think we are getting closer but they do something to mess it up and so we move on. Whenever you decide you finally want to get into something you both should have the intention of building something great. If you’ve talked about it in the beginning then you should know where you both stand. Greatness is built over time but if you both have an understanding then you will start laying the ground work. The worst thing is to deal with someone you have to build up, while trying to build yourself up. The world doesn’t work that way. Before getting into a relationship or doing anything with someone make sure you are good and you are ready to build.
I always find myself in awkward situations with women who realize that I have a plan for my personal growth every year. I never want to remain the same person I was the year before and I continually grow. We can grow together but you have to know what you want from life and move forward. Not everything in life can be planned but your personal growth and the direction you want your life to go in should be. You always want to continue building by yourself but life is really enjoyable when you can actually build with someone just as dope as you. Let’s build and become something better.

Waiting

Waiting is something we commonly do for things that we want but is all waiting good? It depends on how you view it and what situations present themselves. Why are you waiting? Do you really have to wait? Will it benefit you if you wait? Apply this thought process to when you are dating someone. We all have waited for something to happen or waited for someone. You just have to remind yourself, “Is this person worth waiting for” or “Is my time being wasted.”
I always find myself in weird situations or I know of someone in an odd situation. I have waited for people in relationships to get better, change their habits or for them to be ready to actually date me. All in all people say waiting for any of these situations is just stupid. I personally think you learn more about what type of person you are by waiting. Waiting for someone to be ready to date you, even though they have all the BS in the world going on and you wait. You wait for them to put you on the roster and show them what they are missing. Yes you could have dated someone else but something about this person keeps you interested and intrigued. So you continue to wait. The moment you are in a relationship and notice that someone has a really bad habit you don’t like but you say, “oh they will grow out of it” and they don’t. So now you are stuck. The habit doesn’t bother you as much but it’s either an extremely annoying or bad habit. The one girl I dated smoked weed like every day but didn’t have money for anything else. Spent all of her money on weed. Initially when we started talking she didn’t smoke that much but once she got comfortable it turned into an everyday type of thing. I waited for her to change her habit but of course that didn’t do anything. Another person I dated was literally the parent to her parents which was very saddening (both parents had some type of cancer). I didn’t date her for that long because she didn’t want me to wait for her to get her situation together. She stopped me before I could fully invest in us growing together and I appreciated that. 
People say waiting for someone is one of the joys of life. Sometimes people may be at their lowest or have a plan in the works that you know nothing about. Is all waiting good though? I have a couple of friends who are in relationships and they’ve been in them for at least 6+ years. Some people are saying they should have been married already. What’s the rush? The best things come to those who wait. Yes they’ve established the conversations about marriage but the moment you rush somebody into something is the moment they take a step back. Feeling forced to do something is something you never want. 
Certain situations in life put you in a bad place and you don’t intentionally try to make people wait but it happens. I think the worst thing I’ve heard was, “I can’t wait for you to get better.” That is someone who has reached the limit and just wants to move on with life without you. It doesn’t matter the situation but for someone to say, “I can’t wait” and you try to understand why, it’s already too late. Things won’t be the same and it’s time to let go. All in all waiting is what you make it. Is the person worth the wait? Is the person just wasting your time? You are the only one that can answer this question.

Wedding Season

So personally I don’t mind going to weddings, I absolutely enjoy them. I grew up going to weddings with my dad (wedding photographer) so I find them entertaining. If I go by myself its cool, if I go with someone else I am still going to have fun. I think wedding season is when everyone decides to get married at the same time with no respect for your schedule. That’s how you know you are in wedding season. I’ve truthfully been to 3 of 5 weddings the past couple months and that’s a bad track record. Better than most people in my opinion but it’s not like I didn’t try to go to all of them.
One wedding I absolutely forgot about honestly because I had another wedding in Georgia to go to a couple weeks later and thought his was after it. Completely my fault. This other wedding though I told her I forgot but I really didn’t. She wasn’t having an open bar so I made a presidential decision not to go. Call me petty but I went to a wedding the day before with an open bar and she wasn’t going to have an open bar so something in my spirit told me not to go. Of course I sent her a nice card with words of wisdom, love and inspiration but I am not killing myself for a long ceremony with no open bar. Open bars are essential at weddings and this is not up for debate. People also over think the gifts for the bride and groom but I just say give them cash because they are going to need it. Give them money and let them buy their own things. Keep it simple so they can’t talk shit about you later when they open their wedding gift. 
Wedding season is always a joyous occasion but make sure you mark these weddings down on a calendar. If you have to be reminded about the wedding by the bride or groom you are a horrible person like me. You can send me all the invitations in the world but if you don’t send me a meeting invite most times I will forget. I am still trying to get certain things in my adult life right but just being able to enjoy wedding season is always entertaining. Enter wedding season knowing that you can’t please everyone and you are just here to enjoy another person’s moment with them.

Can I Get a Text Back?

Talking to my friend about dating in your 20s and realizing that it’s so miserable is extremely funny. Your early 20s you don’t really care, your mid 20s you think you still have time and then your late 20s you try to rush things without thinking them through. All in all we are just waiting for a simple text back from someone to show us some type of interest. We send that initial message and hope for something back in a timely fashion. Then we see them tweet, post pics on Instagram/facebook and snapchat something corny without them responding back to our text message. 
When dating in your 20s the initial communication thing is something we hope would be consistent and eventually realize it doesn’t remain that way. Sometimes you have to ask someone, “can I get a text back?” Are you really worth a response back though? Yes you might be worth a response back but not at this moment. Yes we are glued to our phones but sometimes we become preoccupied with other things. That’s not an excuse but we are so confused with our 20s that everything is so undefined. Then when you hit your late 20s you are still trying to figure out life but rush things. You feel like you wasted so much time not defining things and then you hit your early 30s and are against the clock. You will never be at a point in your life where everything is defined. Sometimes getting to a better spot is actually responding back to that random text and defining if you even want to text back. If you are like me my response is normally, “ delete my number but follow me on Instagram though.” You can’t entertain every response you get but you should define where you want it to go. Building something with someone takes time but time is always moving. Risks are taken so you can learn what you should accept and what you shouldn’t.
Honestly I am one of those people who receives text messages, look at them and mentally respond. Then I think about it later like ,”why didn’t this person text me back yet” and realize I didn’t respond back. I believe that you shouldn’t hit someone back if they haven’t hit you back. It’s like a back and forth thing but when it just goes in one direction you need to stop yourself and go on about life. Yes pride gets in the way but if you become that person to always initiate the conversation people will always expect that from you. We are a generation that fails at communication but we have to get better at defining what we want with these people in our lives. Time is forever moving forward and it won’t stop for anyone.