Category Archives: Relationship

Interracial Relationships . . . What’s the big deal?

As the summer disappears and another day comes upon us, I have another story to share with my readers on this wonderful day. So I was in a heated discussion with this female about dating outside my race. She said I was belittling my race and that I did not want to keep the purity of our African people. She also said that there are hundreds upon hundreds of strong single African American females looking for African American males to date but there all taken by another race. Bringing up the race thing in my opinion when it comes to a relationship I think its ignorance, you have not grown as a person and experienced life. You are stuck in a 2d world where everything is the same as it was 2000 years ago.

WELLLLLL . . . I am sorry you feel that way but I personally don’t think it matters who I am in a relationship with or their race. This should not even be a factor in determining who you’re in a relationship with. Do you walk around choosing your friends by race? “Okay hey you Chinese guy your on my team, you to Spanish guy I want you on my team, not you Multiracial guy you look weird.” Seriously that’s not how things should work out at all. We are not living in the times of a racial divide; we are living in the times of change. Of course racial boundaries will NEVER be completely gone but at least we are trying.

Again, “What’s the big deal with Interracial Relationships?” Ask yourself that at least 5 times and if you can make up a list of at least 10-15 things then don’t force your views on other people. Don’t complain about “OH why you with that when you can be with your own race,” it’s not about being with your own race it’s about how you feel about the person, how interesting they are to you, and YOUR happiness, no one else’s. I have dated a Spanish and Caucasian female and it’s a new experience that everyone should explore and that’s dating outside your race because the perfect person is the one you least expect.

Food for thought, in this day and age not everyone is 100% what they say they are. For example, Lewis says he is African American but his grandmother is Caucasian, is he still just considered African American or both? Peter is Spanish but his great grandfather is Asian, what is he then considered? There are some of us who are mixed and may not know it, because during the times of slavery, slave masters use to rape there slaves. So in a sense we ALL of us maybe a race we don’t know about, so never judge a book by its cover. Judging a relationship based on race is definitely a “NO BUENO.”

So once again, please tell me “What’s the big deal with Interracial Relationships?” because I personally just see it as 2 people interested in each other, being happy.

The MiddleWOMAN (Written by Munchy)

Show me the HOEfax
I’ve been in many situations where I played the role of the middlewoman. When I go out to parties, clubs, cookouts, and gatherings, my male friends usually ask, “who’s that girl? Tell me what you know about her”. Me: (points to girl#1) she’s taken, (girl#2) she’s not into guys, (girl#3) she has a great personality. I give them the basics before showing them the HOEfax. Yes! I said HOEfax! The HOEfax is a brief description of the girl about whom & what she has done. In other words is she a bitty, jump, slut, etc. After giving them the low down, I let them decide if they want to get to know her or not.

Introduction
If he find’s my friend attractive I always introduce him to her. “Hey Emily, this is my friend Kevin”. After that I instantly step away and pretend to look important (Twiddles thumbs and makes believe that I am texting someone). A middlewoman is not a COCKBLOCKER. Once the conversation begins, it’s not cool to “check-in” on a friend to see how things are. Fade away into the crowd until they return.

Me: So what did think of her?

Kevin: “She was cool, we exchanged numbers”.

The Follow-up
After a week or so it’s okay to ask about the new friendship.

Me: “How are you and Emily hitting it off?”

Kevin: “We’re going out to dinner Saturday.”

There is nothing wrong with asking this question, and even in some cases “Emily” will come around to get the scoop about “Kevin” before agreeing to go out on a date with him. Being the middlewoman is very simple, if you play your role correctly, you will be drama-free. At some point, you began to know what kind of a girl your guy friends are interested in and go straight for the introduction. “Hey Tiffany, I’d like you to meet my friend Kevin”.

The MiddleMan: A Male’s Perspective

The MiddleMan . . . . we have all heard this term or have been one in some sense when going about our daily routine. The MiddleMan refers to many different things but most commonly for relationships, hooking people up or friends fighting. You know you always have someone be the mediator for one of your endeavors whether it be trying to hook you up with a friend, fixing a friendship or even a relationship. You don’t necessarily need a MiddleMan but no matter what someone will be considered a MiddleMan.

When you trying to get with someone you always got that middle person to try and direct the other person towards your direction. This is sometimes how the conversations turn out.

Dude1: Hey yo you know that chick

MiddleMan: Yeah man I went to school with her she mad cool why?

Dude1: Yo put me on she mad cute

MiddleMan: Ight I got you

MiddleMan: Hey Girl1 I wanta introduce yo to my people, Dude1

Girl1: Hey

This is when MiddleMan slowly drifts away and let them talk and blah blah blah for the next however long they want to talk for, while MiddleMan stands awkwardly to the side either texting or finding someone to talk to.

(One week into talking)

Dude1: Yo does she talk about me son? Send her a text and find out if she likes me

MiddleMan: Ight

MiddleMan: Yeah man you got her feeling some type of way

Dude1: Word!

MiddleMan sometimes is the person you can rely on in situations like this because you know they got you for anything. Same example would work for your female friend if she was your so called “MiddleMan” and you wanted her to hook you up with her friend she definitely holds you down with that, that’s if she is a dope ass female friend. For guys make sure that you have a FEMALE as a MiddleMan because they are the best in the WORLD!! They tell you everything and literally soften the chick up to like you more. Not saying that your boys ain’t good but a female MiddleMan is the best because they always want to see you happy, especially if they think your a good person.

Another example of being the MiddleMan is when your friends are beefing and they pretty much want you to pick a side, be the messenger for the whole conflict or help resolve it. This is when it really really sucks to be the MiddleMan because you really don’t want to be involved, but you just want the conflict to end. You just want things to go back to the way they where, so we all can just be friends again. You get those messages like “Tell your friend they need to come get there stuff out of my room for I just throw it out the window” or “You should tell “THAT” person they should be apologizing to me for being so dam phony.” Friendship arguments are usually petty as is but those are the type of things you really don’t want to be a part of but it happens that way a lot because your friends with both people. You get dragged into everything no matter what.

Being the MiddleMan for relationship problem sucks SOOOO BADLY especially if these two people you thought had a decent relationship. You see sides of people you don’t really want to see and look at them differently. Sometimes it makes you just want to make sure your able to fix it because one person is talking in your ear about missing the other, loosing focus from life and just wanting to make everything right. While the other person is pretty much kind of doing the same thing, so you sit there trying not to get involved but there already spilling their guts out to you so that makes you immediately involved. In these types of situations you got to have a lot of trust in the person you have as your MiddleMan because you hope whatever they are saying isn’t going to the wrong people. For example if one of my peoples is asking me for advice and telling me they miss someone, you’re not supposed to rely that information to someone outside the circle. Someone who has no clue what’s going on with their relationship should not be involved, then this is when rumors and bullshit spread. We all know how rumors go, when they get back to you there all twisted and completely wrong. So this refers to my other topic “It isn’t what your HEARD it’s what you KNOW!!” get your facts straight.

I think to be a MiddleMan for a relationship and actually make it positive and work out is the best feeling ever because it feels like you just won and are unbeatable. If you lose its like dam, “FUCK” I tried my hardest I’m sorry I apologize a million times over and then you kind of feel slumped because you had an obligation to help and you failed. So it’s a win or lose situation.

**Disclaimer** No more than 1 MiddleMan at a time, 2 opinions is not always better than one DEPENDING on the situation (especially when it comes down to your relationship). Opinions always vary on certain things. OPEN YOUR EARS AND LISTEN, MiddleMan isn’t there to babysit you and hold your hands through the whole process so make sure if they tell you to stop being stubborn and man-up (or woman-up) just do it.

**The MiddleMan: A Female’s Perspective coming out soon written by one of my female friends =)

Is It Real Love?

When we think about love we think about many different things like the love you have for your parents, family, friends, food, shirt, sneakers, phone etc. The love I will be talking about is the love that people say they have for each other such as the love of a friend, the love for a significant other, etc. We, as humans, tend to throw the word love around sometimes not even understanding what it means or “WHY” we have love for each other.

To have love for a friend is to say that you trust them in a sense and you have their back no matter what the situation. To have love for a friend is something that is as deep as calling someone your BEST FRIEND, it’s like they are your extended family and you trust them. I have people that I love as an extended family because I grew up with them and I trust them with a lot of things. These people I feel as though whenever I am going through something they are always there to pick me up no matter what. I won’t hit them up for 2-3 days and they will call me like “You better have a reason for not checking in with me.” You will fight with these people toe to toe and be mad about random issues but at the end of the day you laugh it off and still have love for them.

To have love for a significant other is a very tricky subject because some people throw the world love around when they want to keep someone, make someone feel special or just want to use it because it sounds good. Before having love for a significant other ask yourself these questions,

1. When you’re with them do you feel as if you are on another planet with just them on your mind and in your heart?
2. Does the world seem brighter and more beautiful than usual?
3. Do you wake up and go to sleep feeling completed?
4. When you are away from them for a long period of time do you only think about them?
5. Are you able to ignore the negative/imperfect things about them?
6. Can you be 100 percent yourself with them and feel comfortable?
7. Do they make you feel good about yourself?

For me it is a million more questions, but these are the simple key questions that if they can’t fully be answered then sometimes the word love has no meaning. Love is a feeling that comes from inside of you, you necessarily DON’T have to ask yourself these questions to prove that you are in love with somebody but something has to be fueling why you are in love with someone. You can’t be talking to someone for two weeks and feel that they are getting less interested and drop the L bomb on them like it’s the right thing to do, NO IT IS NOT. The other person usually sits there either thinking 1.Is It Real Love? 2.You can’t be serious. or 3.Why? Everything takes time you can’t rush love or defining why you love someone. With time comes better opportunity for more doors to open with this person and for you to understand more of why you love them and define to yourself and them that it is REAL LOVE.

Live, Laugh and Love that’s all you can do.