Dating and Dating Again (Part 2)


            Most times with dating you think you are ready but sometimes you aren’t really ready. You may have inner demons that you have to deal with, your past constantly showing up or you’re just dealing with someone who just wants to go full throttle. You never want to rush something until YOU are ready. You don’t want to half ass something and in the end it falls apart.
            The thing about dating is that you have to be able to make sure that person is all about you and you are all about them. This always takes time and sometimes never happens immediately. You have to have that feeling of “damn this is the only person I want to be with” when you’re alone without them. Until you reach that point I feel you aren’t truly ready. It’s not so much of an infatuation its more so a non-interest in other people besides this one person. You could see another great person try to step into your life but you already have one and that person is amazingly occupying your time. You consider these other people a non-factor because you already have this great person in your life. Sometimes most of us don’t even get to this point and we just bite the bullet just so we have someone. No, don’t do that only because its unpredictable on how you may feel later on about them. After some time you may just lose interest or your interest in them may grow. You will never know unless you just step out and just try. Give someone a reason to make you their main dish instead of that side salad. Build that friendship so they can get to that point if they haven’t yet.
            You can’t date wrong it’s a continuous learning process. Somethings might happen immediately whereas others may take a while. Dating is literally testing the waters before making someone official. Hurt feelings happen and if you feel something isn’t going in the right direction, TALK ABOUT IT. No one ever wants to feel pressured to jump into something they aren’t 100% committed for and 100% ready for. We just don’t know what the other person is thinking and what inner battles they are going through but we do know that things take time. It is never wasted time but a learning experience that will help us in the future.

Dating and Dating Again. . .

The dating world is mysterious, funny and just unexpected. I find myself in constant conversation with people on what is dating, how should I date, expectations on dating and fears on dating. Sometimes you just have to spread your wings and just dive right into it. Other times you dip a toe in and back out immediately. That adventure is a constant learning process for anyone. Personally I absolutely hate dating and some of the unwritten rules associated with it.
Getting to know people is great but after it’s like, “shit this person is dope do I want to invest all my time in them?” Dating is that middle ground when you are single and testing the waters with people. You shouldn’t rush it and should just let it flourish from the ground up. I always find myself giving 101% of myself to a person and then after a while they are either not what I expected or everything I want. I’ve stopped that practice because I know what type of person I am. Giving someone all of me, being consistent, showing them something different and being that person they can depend on. At this very moment I am just testing the water and not giving my all but just enough. If I was to give someone my all right now I’d be writing corny ass poems, sending them flowers and going on baecations (vacations with a significant other). I am keeping my nose clean and just enjoying this “single” life.
Single life doesn’t mean I am out here going crazy with any randoms, I am just growing me as a person. So when it does come to that point of making someone official I am in a great place to do that. Plus you don’t want to date anyone that is a lame, boring and has trash sex. That is just my general opinion. Some people are celibate and don’t like to test drive the car before fully investing in it but I do. Even when you take it out sometimes you just lose interest in it as it begins to show you its true colors. People assume after you have sex with that person that they can’t date other people. That’s one of those unwritten rules of dating. Just out of respect you just shared an experience with someone and you shouldn’t entertain/date anyone else. Throw this make believe rule out and continue doing you, you’re single until you have a title. You are currently not tied down so keep living your life and learning more about you. You aren’t wasting anyone’s time.
You are never really wasting time its more so you are learning more about your likes and dislikes. Dating is something different and you really don’t have to let the entire world know who you are dating or how it’s going. Things fall into place at the correct moment. Over the past year I’ve been very cautious with who I let into my life and occupy my time. My life has finally been somewhat glued back together but I always find pieces coming off because that’s the way the world works. Just want to make sure I am good before caring that someone else is good. Just because you are occupying some of my time doesn’t mean someone else isn’t trying to take your place. We all know what we want sometimes but if what we want is coming from more than one direction don’t block your blessings. You never know which one will step up a lot more than the other and show you a different world.

#HeyBigHead (Part 2)

I find it funny how. . . . (any discussion with women who know shit but want to catch you in a lie first). Anyway you ever find yourself on the right path, doing good things for yourself and people from your past just pop up? People you had an interest in but they didn’t have an interest in you all of a sudden are intrigued by what you do. Sometimes they find themselves in a better space and now want to give you the time of day because you’ve peaked some type of interest. Maybe it’s someone you disconnected with and never got back on track with just because life happens. I feel like I talk about this a lot only because it has been happening to me so often as of late.

I feel that we all get those random couple text messages or phone calls when life is going great. You post some new pictures online, you’re on on vacation enjoying the moment, you’re enjoying a successful life of accomplishments and/or you’re just so happy about life. You always get people who see your greatness and want to just “check up” on you to see what is going on. I don’t mind having conversation with some of these people only because I will see them all the time. The thing with me though is that if you are going to come at me, you going to need to come at me with 1000% of your energy so I can pay attention. I get bored easily and I’ve learned to focus more on my happiness verses others happiness. So that “Hey Big Head” message you can keep to yourself only because I use that line as a joke to make people laugh.

My reasoning for saying come at me with everything is only because I am the type of person once I find the “right” person that’s it. I know what I want, I like what I like and I won’t let it go (unless you mess up in some way). Don’t half ass come at me if you going to hit me with the #HeyBigHead text. You need to come at me better then anyone else that is coming at me but we are a generation of going with the flow and waiting for the last minute. Go out, find your own happiness and make it yours. Life is all about taking risks, falling on your face and minding your business.

Monthly Feature: Under 40 & Changing The Game (5)

 Who is. . .?
 Mazaryah is a multitalented individual that has been using his gifts to focus on artist brand development and wardrobe styling.
What has contributed to your personal growth?
 The main contribution to my personal growth was watching the 3 women of my life, my mom, aunt, and late grandmother go through any and everything to see me become successful.
In the next 5 years where do you see yourself going?
 In the next 5 years I see myself as a partner of a major entertainment company and also owning a clothing line. I will have a boutique running in Atlanta that will welcome clothing for women of all sizes and making them feel beautiful.
What are the 3 things that best describe your growth?
Consistency
Perseverance
Patience
What message would you like to provide those people who have hit a road block with their personal growth?
 It sometimes take a lot of time to grow into the being that God puts you on this earth to be. You may stumble, you may trip, you may fall but the key to success is to never accept the bruises aches and pains as a endearment of failure. Use the hard times as lessons and notes so that you can strategically plan out your route and have wisdom for guidance as you walk. You never give up. No matter what happens. Because you never know how long it may take for you to bang on the door of success for it to open.
How would you like to be remembered?
I will be remembered for my creative genius in the art world. I will be remembered for my willingness to adapt to any situation to make a better outcome. I will be remembered for giving strength to the black family through economic wisdom.
What are your current ventures?
 Currently I am a artist manager under Esquire One Entertainment based in Atlanta, Ga. I also wardrobe style rappers and models. I am the project manager for Indie Live Show HipHop Tour and I Act in short films and skits.
Additional information about Mazaryah.
  • Born in Brooklyn, NY
  • Jamaican
  • Graduate from Brooklyn high school of the arts film/drama and fine arts and Florida memorial university psychology major
  • Member of Phi Beta Sigma
  • Crew member in Oscar winning film Moonlight
Instagram @UglyMazi