Category Archives: fear

Positive VS Negative

–> Sorry it’s been so long since my last topic but life has a way of occupying your time. So lets talk a bit about positive versus negative. We tend to look at our negatives more then we look at our positives. No matter how little the negative is we make it bigger then the positive and we allow that to drag down our mood/thoughts. I seem to notice that with a lot of people, you can try and tell them to keep positive but they would rather not. They let the negative issue get to them so much that it becomes the only thing that consumes their thoughts.

As individuals, we all go through issues in life that discourage us from doing a lot of things. We can’t let the negatives ever out way our positives. Everything negative that happens to us is always setting us up for something better in life. Sometimes people don’t think about it that way though. You can’t take everything negatively but as a stepping-stone to something better. For example, a couple of my friends have had a lot of trouble finding jobs in their particular fields. Nothing comes easy but they did get really discouraged. They started thinking if they really should have went to school for there particular degree. After a couple, of just standard jobs and pushing forward, they finally landed in their careers.
That sense of achievement and staying positive can take you a long way. Negativity will always be around but you can’t let it consume you. Don’t ever let it consume your decisions. Remain positive and things will fall into place the way you want them to.

“You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, remain positive and let things happen. Greatness takes time.”

Letting Go

Another week another problem, as we all get older we deal with a situation where we get hurt or have problems and communication between you and someone else gets effected. In the past week I have seen at least 8-10 twitter/facebook status that says something like “ I’m trying to let go but it’s so hard I miss him/her so much” or “ I might hold on to this feeling just because I miss him/her.” Some would say it’s better to hold on because letting go hurts to much, is this true? Yes and No for many different reasons.


Yes because you can hold that perfect feeling of happiness for a good while so you don’t get depressed and get all gloomy. No because it isn’t healthy and you scare off people who would treat you 10x better then the last person. Sometimes we hold on for the wrong reasons, like they are going to come back in to our lives after they decided to leave. That happens 9.5 times out of 10, very slim chance that people realize their mistakes and lose the best thing that ever happened to them. These people always regret their decisions but all you can do is let go and move on, there is something better at the end of the yellow brick road and I’m not talking about OZ. We always find happiness when we least expect it especially if we let go of our past, move on and open our eyes.

Fact it’s harder for woman to move on and let go then it is for guys.

Women have so much more emotions and feelings then guys so they really get attached after some time of being with someone. I know of 3 females at the moment who after 1+ year are still attached to someone who they use to talk to or go out with. I tell them everyday let go, move on, do you because at the moment he doesn’t care about you don’t think he does. He has moved on and let go of his past so he could have a better future. You set yourself up for failure sometimes when you don’t let go and can’t talk to anyone else. You wonder what that person is doing, who they talking to now, where they at . . . . . . .you start to build stalker tendencies and that really isn’t cool. If you need closure to let go contact the person now, send them a letter and get your closure. If you have already received closure and are still hanging on to them while they out doing their own thing then maybe you need a friend who will smack you straight? Just a suggestion, but you are missing out on a lot of things if you are not able to let go and move on, people always regret that they didn’t let go at the right time and miss the best thing that could have ever happened to them.

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Why are Guys Afraid to Show Their Feelings (Topic suggested by Anonymous Female)

Girl: Girls want to feel beautiful and special
Guy: I’m not nice like that to anyone
Girl: I’m not just anyone
This conversation ended with them breaking up and ending their on and off relationship of 3.5+ years. She felt as though the guy really didn’t show his feelings for her at all. There is always something in the beginning but as the relationship went on, it was inconsistent and he treated her like another person. No affection, no attention . . . nothing at all, she felt neglected. The next question she asked me was,” Why are guys afraid to show their feelings?”

It’s not that I am stumped with this question it’s just that, to be honest we are afraid of the feedback we will get from you and we aren’t comfortable showing our feelings (some of us). With females it’s always something different, its either you want more of something or you don’t get enough of something, best thing for you to do is “COMMUNICATE.” To be honest you have to tell us shit so we better understand what’s up with you and your feelings. If we could read women’s minds then this world would be great , we would know when it’s that time of the month, know if we miss an anniversary (since you guys remember all of them), know what we are suppose to say or do when you are going through things. You have to understand if you communicate to us that “I love a guy who shows me there true feelings” then you will get what you asked for. Don’t ask for something and then when you’re constantly receiving it you say “You are doing a little too much opening up.” It’s either one or the other, make up your mind.

We are afraid of the feedback that we will receive from a female if we open up to them to much about our feelings. The thing that goes through our minds is, “She will like me less” or “She thinks I’m a bitch” or “She doesn’t want a guy this opened”. For a guy to open up it takes a lot of built up trust and the way he feels about you, for him to come out his shell. When he does open up and tells you everything, you better believe that he will continue to tell you EVERYTHING cause he confides in you and see’s you as someone special in his life. From this point on you have to understand though, you have to tell him when it’s too much or not enough; we need constructive feedback to better ourselves in showing our feelings.

I confide in 5 females at the moment because they have earned my trust and I love them. It’s not that we are afraid to show our feelings we just need the green light and a GPS to guide us on our way to expressing them.