Category Archives: Respect

Fuckboy

A fuckboy has many definitions but let just keep it easy. Fuckboy is someone who is about self without a second thought to your well being. They always put their need above anything and don’t care who they have to fuck over to reach their goals. This can also apply to women and not generalized to just men.
    My thing with this word is that I think people use it so freely when they don’t get their way. They just call someone a fuckboy without a second thought. I was called a fuckboy twice and took great offense to it. I am the type of person to go above and beyond for whoever I’m with. For someone to call me a fuckboy I felt so disrespected. I know I didn’t deserve to be called a fuckboy because of the type of person I am. After I was called a fuckboy I was compared to the other dudes they dated. That’s when I felt another level of disrespect. At no point have I ever disrespected a female. I was raised the correct way. No matter what a female says to you, be better and treat them how you would treat your mother.
    In one case, I had to ask why she thought I was a fuckboy and why she considered me like these other dudes she dated. Her answer was that I didn’t want to go to an event with her. That was the logic in her calling me a fuckboy. I had to remind her who she was calling a fuckboy. The guy that buys her flowers, just because, takes her out of her comfort zone, pushes and supports her with all her endeavors, provides a shoulder when she needs it and even fixes her bonnet when she is sleeping. I don’t know what fuckboy goes out of their way to make sure you are good before he is good, but okay. She apologized for calling me that, but it’s one of those things you can’t take back. Second person called me and called me a fuckboy while I was at work. I was upset, told her I would talk to her after work because she messed up my entire mood for the day. I was in a positive mood and it sank, because I was called a fuckboy. Of course I drove to her house and had a deep conversation about it. Her response was that she was emotional and on her period, that’s why she said it.

    My assumption is that you always thought of me as fuckboy once they said it honestly. Something that was already brewing in their heads before they said it. When you say how you really feel about someone they will always remember it. People don’t understand the power of words and sometimes never think before they say things.

No Take Backs


I feel like when people mess up they always want a do over or to take back what they said like it never happened. People never realize that the damage is already done and nothing else can be said or done to fix it. Like if you tell someone you no longer want to be friends with them and then weeks later you say, “I was just playing though, let’s be friends” just because you miss them. People always tend to regret when they make a mistake or a rash decision. You have to remind yourself that once something is said or done the effects can be extremely damaging. The effects can be good as well, if you are the type of person that doesn’t care about the repercussions.
One of my friends was in a situation where her best friend slandered her behind her back, to a random stranger. Like I get that you need to vent sometimes, but why to someone you don’t know? Then she tried to be buddy buddy with her in person. Come to find out the person she was venting to, was a friend of her so called “best friend” and told her what was up. When she was confronted about it, she acted like it didn’t happen. Once things are said you can’t take them back. My advice is to never say things to people you really don’t know. People are all about gossip and drama. Can’t trust everyone in this world.
Another situation I’ve witnessed is when someone asks you out, girlfriend/boyfriend, don’t you assume they are ready for the responsibilities that come with the situation? I feel like that’s a huge commitment you are getting into and you should know once that happens, anything you say or do will be used in a court of law. I know people who get into relationships with the coolest people just to say,”nah I don’t think I am ready for a relationship but we can still be friends though.” Then a couple weeks later regret it and try to come back. No take backs people. Once things are said the WHOLE situation between you and them changes. You can’t say something now, let it settle in and then take it back because you were confused or it was a mistake. What’s done is done. Just saying sorry will not fix the issue or make it go back to how it use to be. I really dislike people when they think just by saying sorry will fix any situation. In this generation we break up with people in the worst ways and don’t realize we can’t take what we did back. It’s out there, too late to recall a message sent. It’s up to us to enforce this “no take back” policy. If you accept the fact that people have come back after doing something harmful to you, they will continue doing it. Nothing is ever okay and you should make them aware of that.
Words and actions can hurt. It’s what we say or do that determines how we will move forward. You are living your life in pen and can’t erase any of the mistakes you have made. 
“Words are like bullets. Once they are out, you can’t control the damage they do.”

The Single/Co-Parent Situation

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I just want to take the time out to s/o those individuals who are parents just because it is not an easy job at all. Your life revolves around your kid(s) and if they are not happy, you’re not happy. I know a lot of great people that are single parents and honestly think they are doing a wonderful job. As I get older I realize that once you have a new responsibility added to your life, you do your best to adjust. Sometimes it isn’t easy and you always hit bumps in the road, but you push yourself through them. Most of the things I write about I have experienced or know people who have experienced them.
My friends know that I attract single moms, I don’t mind it but it’s like why are there so many single parents? Lets face the facts; some people are not ready for new responsibilities. Yes, having a child is a new responsibility that you accepted once you decided to have unprotected sex. Sometimes people make mistakes but having a child is not a mistake. I was having a talk with one of my friends and the other person said the child was a mistake. They did not want to be involved in the child’s life at all. Nothing is ever a mistake, things happen for a reason. Some things in life you aren’t ready for but you try to make the best of it. People think that most single parents are females but no there are guys that are single parents as well. Odd? I know someone who is a great parent. He raises his daughter like a queen, teaches her about life, what to expect from men and encourages her to be great. Overall I let him know that he is a great father and he inspires me to be like him.
The co-parent situation to me is kind of confusing. It’s like both parents are around but one isn’t around as often, just available on the weekends or special occasions. Under certain circumstances I understand that it happens because of many factors but still certain situations I am just like “cut this person off please”. The only reason I say that is because the other person seems like they don’t want that much involvement in the child(s) life at all. For example, say you had a one-night stand with someone, you have a kid and now you’re a parent. You both come to an agreement you will co-parent and be around. The child is mostly with you and the other parent has the child every other week. The other parent starts a family and has a new kid and doesn’t want to be involved as much. Now what? I commend those people who are able to handle situations like this. As long as you are setting a positive example for your child, I don’t see a big deal with it. Things happen in life that we can’t control we just need to push forward and be great.
No matter if you are a single parent, co-parent or parent new responsibilities arise everyday. You have to be willing to grow and change as a person to encounter them. You may not hear this all the time but I think you are doing a great job. Continue being great and encouraging your child to be great.
“Nothing is ever wrong. We learn from every step we take. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Be proud of you.”

Respect

Today’s topic refers to respect and how in this day and age no one really has it anymore. Respect has many definitions such as to show regard or consideration for, to refrain from intruding upon or interfering with or respects a formal expression or gesture of greeting, esteem, or friendship.

Now the first thing I will talk about is respect between kids and parents. You know growing up you always listened to your parents, every time you wanted something bad you tried to cry and they would make that face at you and you would just stop crying. Our parents would just strike fear in us that we would have so much respect for them. The kids growing up in this new generation are a trip though. For example, Mom and son around 6 years old walk into the toy store to get him one thing for his birthday, but as a kid you always want more, so he starts to scream and holler for more toys.

Mom: “Jack we can only get you one toy at the moment

Jack: “But mom I want this one too!!”

Mom: “I’m sorry only one for now”

Jack: “I WANT IT NOW NOW NOW!!”
*Screams and Runs around all hyper*
Mom: “Okay pick whatever else you want.”

You don’t ever let your child take control – I know my mom would have backed hand me if I got any louder than her or scream and brought attention to us for a dam toy. Don’t ever spoil your child because they will believe that they can get ANYTHING from you at anytime.

Being of Haitian descent you are taught about “wants” and “needs” and wants NEVER outweigh the needs. Some people can relate to seeing that one child in the supermarket running around and acting a fool and that one lady chasing after them like “stop running Bobby come back over here.” This is a NO BUENO . . .you would be like my mom would not have tolerated this and would have caught you by the ear and turned it so much that you would know you made a mistake by running around. That just shows the respect the child has for you which are NONE, parents you need to get it together. Respect as it pertains to everyone else; this is something that has to go both ways.

Respect for women from guys is something that comes naturally and is taught (Hopefully) as you are growing up. Women should have the same respect as men have for them this is really a two way streak. Being disrespectful to someone shows that you don’t care about the other individuals feelings and don’t consider that you might affect them in the long run. Being respectful to your elders or just anyone shows that you are a person of good quality and character.

RESPECT find out what it means to me….and you know the rest. At the end of the day, it comes down to communication. Remember that actions speak louder than words. When you blow smoke, make sure it’s both ways and not one.

(Edited by Jamel V.)