Diary of a Woman

Good day all, it’s been awhile since I wrote something . . . just kind of been observing the world, reconnecting with friends and staying on that success grind. One of those things that always catches my eye is when a female is able to remember EVERY DAMN detail about anything and everything. Whether it is bad or good, if it has some importance, they will remember it. Think about this statement “Women keep diaries Girls keep sticky notes.” Seriously THINK about that statement and apply it to certain situations in your life and tell me if this isn’t true. This is all based on growth, maturity level and how you grew up, so don’t think otherwise. FYI Keywords here are WOMEN and GIRLS

“Women keep diaries” refers to how they seem to remember everything and how they keep track of it for future reference. I could go into more details into what that means but that is just boring. In this case, it would be better to have an example and keep it moving. A good example would be if a guy cheats on his girl, she writes in her mental diary “This bum ass nigga(excuse my French) just cheated on me with this ugly Nicki Minaj look alike who ain’t even got an ass named Mercedes on Tuesday February 15th 2011 at 9:05PM” Notice that the date and time was taken in this mental diary . . . . this is for future reference if she decides to take dude back she can use it against him later. If she decides to take him back, then she does something, like chill with one of her male friends and dude gets mad, she will say “On Tuesday February 15th 2011 at 9:05 AM you cheated on me with Mercedes so you can put your little attitude back there and cut the shit.” Even if you let her spend your black card on a shopping spree she will ALWAYS remember whatever you did to hurt her. Material things can’t replace broken hearts or hurt emotions. If you lie about something, she will most likely catch you and investigate especially if she knows the truth.

Female: What where you doing last night?
Male: Me and Rob started going to the gym, and then after we went for a drink at the bar.
*Female takes mental note Friday February 11th from 5:42pm-11:35pm he went to the gym and bar with Rob*

*Next Day*
Female: You went to the gym and bar again last night?
Male: Yeah it was a tough work out, me and Rob did an extreme workout it went well.
Female: MHMMMM
*Mental Diary Saturday February 12th from 5:30pm-11:55pm he went to the gym and bar with Rob. I talked to Rob’s wife earlier today and he planned a whole dinner date for their 1 year wedding anniversary”

DON’T BE STUPID SHE WILL FIND OUT!!! Especially if the time frames and shit you’re doing is off and very weird trust and believe she will find out.

Anything of importance she writes it in her diary and MAKES sure it’s used for reference purposes, as in anniversaries, birthdays, missed outings, painful experience, embarrassing moments, hurt feelings etc. Women remember everything especially if it’s something meaningful or hurtful. I bought one of my coolest female friends some flowers and some wine just because she was feeling down, (her boyfriend broke up with her). To this day she still remembers the time, how the weather was, what I was wearing and what kind of flowers they were. This was almost 2 years ago and I don’t remember this stuff. All I remember is that she had some extra gummy worms lying around and I ate them. Harsh, but it’s the truth, those joints where amazing. Back to the matter at hand: WOMEN REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE THING SO DON’T FUCK SHIT UP. They will bring stuff up, whether good or bad, and tell you what it is.

“Girls keep sticky notes” refers to how a girl will remember something for a short time period and it eventually gets blown away from memory either because 1. They don’t care anymore or 2. They are given something. Some of you “GIRLS” know damn well you do this shit or did it at one point in your life then grew up. I’ve seen a girl get so angry with her man that she is ready to break up with him because he keeps doing the same mess but she lets him back in because he keeps getting her things like flowers, new shoes, new hair, a dog etc. These are material chicks who don’t keep diaries because they are quick to forget because they know they are going to be given something so they forgive and forget. Sticky notes are something you use for a quick reference and post it somewhere, after awhile it loses its stickiness or gets blown away and gets forgotten. You remember what you want to remember and just keep life going. Since females mature faster than guys this is usually something that is dropped between the ages of 16-20 if it’s still with you then . . . I don’t know, grow up maybe?

Word to the wise, don’t beat around the bush, be truthful to yourself and just give the diary respect. As guys we know women remember everything so we have to respect the “Diary of a Woman.” Growth defines the difference between a Woman and a Girl.

Letting Go

Another week another problem, as we all get older we deal with a situation where we get hurt or have problems and communication between you and someone else gets effected. In the past week I have seen at least 8-10 twitter/facebook status that says something like “ I’m trying to let go but it’s so hard I miss him/her so much” or “ I might hold on to this feeling just because I miss him/her.” Some would say it’s better to hold on because letting go hurts to much, is this true? Yes and No for many different reasons.


Yes because you can hold that perfect feeling of happiness for a good while so you don’t get depressed and get all gloomy. No because it isn’t healthy and you scare off people who would treat you 10x better then the last person. Sometimes we hold on for the wrong reasons, like they are going to come back in to our lives after they decided to leave. That happens 9.5 times out of 10, very slim chance that people realize their mistakes and lose the best thing that ever happened to them. These people always regret their decisions but all you can do is let go and move on, there is something better at the end of the yellow brick road and I’m not talking about OZ. We always find happiness when we least expect it especially if we let go of our past, move on and open our eyes.

Fact it’s harder for woman to move on and let go then it is for guys.

Women have so much more emotions and feelings then guys so they really get attached after some time of being with someone. I know of 3 females at the moment who after 1+ year are still attached to someone who they use to talk to or go out with. I tell them everyday let go, move on, do you because at the moment he doesn’t care about you don’t think he does. He has moved on and let go of his past so he could have a better future. You set yourself up for failure sometimes when you don’t let go and can’t talk to anyone else. You wonder what that person is doing, who they talking to now, where they at . . . . . . .you start to build stalker tendencies and that really isn’t cool. If you need closure to let go contact the person now, send them a letter and get your closure. If you have already received closure and are still hanging on to them while they out doing their own thing then maybe you need a friend who will smack you straight? Just a suggestion, but you are missing out on a lot of things if you are not able to let go and move on, people always regret that they didn’t let go at the right time and miss the best thing that could have ever happened to them.

“When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

Why are Guys Afraid to Show Their Feelings (Topic suggested by Anonymous Female)

Girl: Girls want to feel beautiful and special
Guy: I’m not nice like that to anyone
Girl: I’m not just anyone
This conversation ended with them breaking up and ending their on and off relationship of 3.5+ years. She felt as though the guy really didn’t show his feelings for her at all. There is always something in the beginning but as the relationship went on, it was inconsistent and he treated her like another person. No affection, no attention . . . nothing at all, she felt neglected. The next question she asked me was,” Why are guys afraid to show their feelings?”

It’s not that I am stumped with this question it’s just that, to be honest we are afraid of the feedback we will get from you and we aren’t comfortable showing our feelings (some of us). With females it’s always something different, its either you want more of something or you don’t get enough of something, best thing for you to do is “COMMUNICATE.” To be honest you have to tell us shit so we better understand what’s up with you and your feelings. If we could read women’s minds then this world would be great , we would know when it’s that time of the month, know if we miss an anniversary (since you guys remember all of them), know what we are suppose to say or do when you are going through things. You have to understand if you communicate to us that “I love a guy who shows me there true feelings” then you will get what you asked for. Don’t ask for something and then when you’re constantly receiving it you say “You are doing a little too much opening up.” It’s either one or the other, make up your mind.

We are afraid of the feedback that we will receive from a female if we open up to them to much about our feelings. The thing that goes through our minds is, “She will like me less” or “She thinks I’m a bitch” or “She doesn’t want a guy this opened”. For a guy to open up it takes a lot of built up trust and the way he feels about you, for him to come out his shell. When he does open up and tells you everything, you better believe that he will continue to tell you EVERYTHING cause he confides in you and see’s you as someone special in his life. From this point on you have to understand though, you have to tell him when it’s too much or not enough; we need constructive feedback to better ourselves in showing our feelings.

I confide in 5 females at the moment because they have earned my trust and I love them. It’s not that we are afraid to show our feelings we just need the green light and a GPS to guide us on our way to expressing them.

Commitment

Commitment [kuh-mit-muht] noun. 1. The act of committing 2. The state of being committed 3. The act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself 4. A pledge or promise
Is it me or is everyone afraid to hear this word? People are afraid to be committed to anything anymore, whether it is friends, family, projects, school, girlfriend, boyfriend etc. As I was reading one of my brothers passage’s from his book, The Love of Poem: Vol 1, it inspired me to write this part of my blog talking about it. The passage stats, “Commitment causes everyone to feel special and adored, Gives a person with no desire a reason to fight for.” For those who are open minded really read that and you will understand it. It took my sister 2 hours before she really understood that but, why are people afraid of commitment?
The fear of being committed to someone or something is just that people don’t like being tied down. They feel if they are committed then they will have to be tied down under lock and key and can’t do anything that they want. This is the major concern of a lot of people. They want to be able to do THEM without restrictions or limitations. This is the most common reason people are afraid of commitment and why they think they don’t need to commit to anything.
The beautiful thing about commitment though is that you feel that you are about to start the greatest journey in the world. That nothing in the universe can stop you and that you don’t need to answer WHY you did something to a million people. It really gives you a reason to push forward and make something worth it. “I know why I committed to this and I am ecstatic I did it.” When committing to something, think about the positive aspects of it and not so much the negative. I bet you 9 times out of 10 that the positive outweighs the negative.
Live. Laugh. Love


The Love of Poem: Vol I (By Desmond Baker)